Enough is enough..but why should I leave how do i get him out???

[Ariana]

Hi guys not been on here for a while as he’s been “behaving” and silly me I was sucked in by the tears and the promises to change…but a month down the line and the behaviour has continued heavy drinking and disappearing overnight untill the early hours and I am mad if I suggest his behaviour is unreasonable he insists he’s changing. I just can’t live under his manipulation anymore I have 2 small girls (detail removed by moderator) and that has stopped me from going because I would move to a different town I felt too guilty changing schools. Then I thought why should I move even temporarily…he should go ..this is our children’s home for however long I choose surely even if we decide to stay for another 6 months then leave…so has anyone got experience with obtaining a court order to remove partner from the house? (detail removed by moderator). I have documented his behaviour as proof. And also written lists of all the times he’s been abusive intimidating aggressive and threatening towards me. The thing is I have his Google account on my phone  (detail removed by moderator)As a result I can see where he is all the time on Google maps and see all the pictures he is taking of himself normally at pubs with a pint in his hand… the only reason I check this is because he has lied to me so much in the past and I don’t trust him… I have told him o can see where he is and I know he’s lyeing and he just denies it and says he has nothing to hide and demands that I am nice to him. I can’t stand this pattern of behaviour any more or my children crying night after night because they never see him.
Thanks in advance x

[iwillbeok]

Hi Ariana, big supportive hugs for you going through this.

I used the NCDV for my non-molestation/occupation orders (since expired but he has stayed away thankfully!) – they were very understanding and helpful. I was able to get an emergency order (ie without respondent present) due to the nature of his abuse.
You can also have a look online to see what information is needed and can arrange it yourself if you feel up to it. Though I would recommend going through NCDV or legal. There is no fee to lodge at the court; you can get the court to serve the orders if successful, or pay a server (this was recommended to me as they are more likely to make more effort in serving orders eg after hours, go looking for the abuser… which they did). You need to document the first, worst, and most recent behaviours. If you can’t afford legal, look into a Mackenzie friend (some courts have volunteers attached to the court itself) – having someone familiar with the court environment (even though they can’t give advice) and supportive of you is invaluable!

I would phone WA, NCDV and/or Rights of Women for advice. Not sure how much detail will be removed from this post by admin, but feel free to private message me. I also get frustrated by the messages/system that places the responsibility of women to leave the abuser! Why should we have to pay the price, again, for their abuse?! I was getting ready to leave (didn’t know about WA and making a safe plan!) but then my gut instincts just kicked in and I’d had enough and knew he had to go!

I hope you get support and the help you need.
xx IWOK

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