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Amongst all the abuse I’m coming to terms with, the continued agro, the divorce, the child arrangements and lies which I guess will all resolve eventually.
I can’t stand the fact I see him around all the time. He lives within a mile of me, I see him most Wells, I worry he may be outside and I feel like it’s holding me back moving on. -
Hi J@Jmum,
I feel for you, if I would see him often I would probably (detail removed by Moderator) or get scared of him, depending on the day.
If you are safe, if he can no longer enter your house and he is not terrorising you then try to look at it from a different perspective. You keep him on your radar. ( just observing not contacting him!).
Imagine all the scenarios of running into him ahead and decide what you would feel comfortable doing. It gives peace to know what you would do in each case. Rehearse it in your head.
I had a sister living in the same city and had the police called one time because of her harassment. After that I imagined every possible scenario of seeing her and wha I would do when this or that happens. E.g. if she comes into my building I call the police. If I see her on the street, I cross the street. I also know her weakness. She doesn’t have good eye sight, so she might not even see me properly. And she wouldn’t come cross the street to see me. Because she is too proud and wouldn’t do the first move towards me.
So to know all this relaxed me slowly but surely and brought my confidence back. I was lucky though because she eventually moved away.
Maybe your ex will move away as well one day. Maybe he found a new job or girl-friend.
Take care and keep posting -
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Well done for getting out. My ex lives near me and its hard. If you can focus on him not being in your house and the behaviours you are free from, this may help.
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