Ex probation officer contacting me

[wheredoibegin]

My ex partners probation officer is contacting me this afternoon. Did any one else have this?? I dont understand what she needs to speak to me about.

[Ayanna]

That’s weird.
I wish my ex’s probation officer had contacted me. I would have served them horror stories.

[SunshineRainflower]

It might be because he’s done something bad again to someone else, when I have read about domestic abuse cases they often contact former partners to build up a picture of the person. It might not be that but that’s all I can think of for now. Only say what you feel comfortable with and don’t let them drag you back into anything if that’s how it starts to feel. I hope it goes well, let us know.

[wheredoibegin]

Thanks ladies, had no phone call as of yet. She said it was because he’s going on a perpetrator course so wanted know what my thoughts are and any positives!!?? I just still feel strange about it all until I had this call no one told me they would contact me and no I have no positives about a man who said he would stab mW to death

[SunshineRainflower]

I think be clear about that then, don’t let her force you into being positive about him if that’s not how you feel, you are under no obligation to them whatsoever. I don’t know much about the court system but I’d be worried positive words you said about him could even be used in his defence in court if he committed another crime. Instead you could tell her exactly what he said, how terrified he made you feel and about any longterm and lasting effects he has had on your health and life.

[KIP.]

I read somewhere that these men were going on perps courses and pretending to have rehabilitated themselves but when the girlfriends and wives were spoken to, the abuse was worse than ever and these men were actually learning more abusive tactics from meeting other perps on the course, or coming home and saying it was the behaviour of the wives that was causing their abuse. So the probation officer might want to ask if you will keep her uptodate. However I hope you are no contact with this man and tell her that. In my opinion if you don’t know how to treat a woman when your a grown adult. No course is going to change you. Once an abuser, always an abuser x

[wheredoibegin]

That’s exactly what I thought, I’m going request the questions are put to me in writing so I can’t be misquoted. The funniest thing is it was only last night I had make a statement against him and his mother for him breaking my injunction less than a week after being in court for breaking it previously and her threatening behaviour. So he’s due be arrested today.

[Lisa]

Hi Wheredoibegin,

You mentioned there has been a recent incident with the perpetrator. You do not have to provide information to the probation officer, and the way they have contacted you sounds very inappropriate.

Your safety is the most important thing and it is the responsibility of any perpetrator programme to manage the risks themselves.

Best Wishes,

Lisa

[KIP.]

You have my sympathy. It’s draining dealing with these idiots. All I can say is keep pushing back every time he pushes your boundaries.

[Dragonfly]

Was this all said in a phone call? Sorry but I don’t trust anyone anymore. Make sure the person you’re speaking to are who they say they are. If they are genuine I would say absolutely nothing positive at all. A phone call is a very strange way to contact you.

[wheredoibegin]

Yes it was in a phone call last week. My sister rang the number back and it was just this woman’s voice mail, but it wasn’t even like a professional sounding voicemail as I’d expect from probation and the number is bringing up nothing on google and magically I get no call today. I’m honestly feeling I’m being set up somehow, so I’m going ring the probation office main number and ask them exactly who this person is. Yes I reported him and made a statement to police last night, but heard no update yet so wil ring 101 tomorrow.

[Dragonfly]

Yes I’d be suspicious. You’re doing the correct thing by questioning it.

[wheredoibegin]

Just to give u an update I rang my local areas probation office and gave them the name and number I’d had a call off, she said it is the victim liaison officer who is “really good”. Anyway I’m still going to say it not right how they have approached me and what she’s asked but at least I can relax and not worry I was being set up.

[KIP.]

You are right to ask questions like who passed your details onto the Victim Liaison Officer without your permission? I had a call from a domestic abuse advocacy service that the police had passed my name onto and they were useless. Made my life a misery with their incompetence. Perhaps you could google their role online to see what it’s all about and if she can help you in any way. Also, why she didn’t ring when she said she would. The first time someone doesn’t do what they say they will I’m inclined to ask for someone else.

[wheredoibegin]

Yes exactly I googled it and it usually for them to keep you updated when the offender is in prison to let you know possible parole dates etc. I’m still not happy that she just rang and now not bothered ring back. Yes mine was passed to the dv advocates to but luckily mine has been wonderful so far!!!

[Author]

Posts