- This topic has 8 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
That’s three of us left our abusers since I left on (detail removed by Moderator), PTH and confusedandalone, both on (detail removed by Moderator) by the sounds of it. That’s absolutely amazing. How strong has this forum made us? I was told recently that an 81year old lady has recently left her abusive husband. If she can do it so could I, that was what I thought about the most. That and not thinking, just doing. 😆😆
Now the fun begins.
💞💞IWMBPS. Feel free to add your name to this post if you’ve left or leave in the future.
-
-
-
wow , well done to you all .. thinking of you all in your new chapters. x
-
-
Hi Butterflyblue, thank you.💜 Yes the longer I’m not living with him, that happier I’m becoming. We are talking, I’m not able to cut him dead, I know it’s advised, but I can’t do it. It just isn’t in my nature, even after everything he’s done to me and my children when they were younger. I’m getting stronger. He is blocked on my phone so can’t call or text when he feels like it. I guess it really is a case of what’s right for us, everyone’s way of dealing with this is personal. I remember doing the same for my ex, sort of being there but not. Helping him pick out new clothes. I was living at my mum’s at the time, I chose when I saw him, and slowly saw less and less of him. I’d forgotten all about that and here I am doing the same. Easing my conscience I guess.
I journal everything we say, I don’t commit to anything, I’m not giving him false hope, but he knows he has to get help for himself, that I’m not the prize for doing something about his behaviour.
Maybe I’m being delusional , maybe I’m being hoovered, but when I hear him repeating what others have written, I pay it no heed. I wait till I’m away from him to play over what’s been said, write it down, put it to bed so to speak. I’m going to see about speaking to a psychologist, my daughter is seriously trying to manipulate me now, dangle carrots, move goalposts too. Saying things like now you want to be our mum😐. I blocked her recently too, sometimes we have no choice. I’ve been on this road of realisation for such a short time, I’ve been abused fir nearly two decades maybe more, leaving has happened relatively quickly, staying away is hard but I can’t/ won’t cone back if nothing’s changed. Promises to change, without change is just manipulation.
At the end of the day we do what’s right for us, no-one else. 💜💛💚💪
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞 -
Well done to IWMB, PTH and Confusedandalone.. You are an inspiration to us all with your courage and determination for a safer happy life, and to all those like myself getting together that plan..
Like you say IWMB, it is personal to each and everyone of us how we cope when we’ve left .
I tried contact and because I missed him so much, I went back..But no contact next time as I can’t go through leaving again..Hopefully 5th time will work..
Hugs..
X*x -
-
Sending strength and congratulations to you all for your brave steps out the door, no looking back 😊
Keep walking in the right direction and taking good care of yourselves, its not all healed in a moment, but your recovery is now underway.
That could never happen whilst you were there.
Warmest wishes
TS
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
