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I feared dying in one time he was stalking the house. I was inside and he had received papers from lawyers. It was a while ago. He turned up unexpectedly towards the evening and took the kids.
I feared him killing me if I did not let him take the kids. I feared him killing me on the front lawn of the house. I refused to walk out there and do much. I was scared out of my wits in the house and fled to bedroom. I told the kids that he was there to kill me – he knew I wanted a divorce and he was losing control of the situation.The kids did not understand this all – I was telling him no – don’t come over without being invited – only on your regular days. It was like nothing I have ever imagined in my life. I feared him hurting me severely- he already had at that stage put me in hospital.
It’s been hard to say what fear drives you to do but I hid in the house. Confronting meant something really bad. I called police later – they were of NO help. Courts did not understand what these guys actually do in the end.
I fled the house once I got myself back to some point.
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Fear is the real basis of how they keep control isn’t it and how difficult it is for us to recover and regain a sense of perspective.
But, as my friend says to me, none of the (fill in number, think it’s about 100-150 a year) women who get killed by their partners every year think it’s going to happen. They don’t go out to the shops that morning thinking “I think I’ll be brutally murdered today” or open the door to their ex thinking “ he’s almost certainly got a concealed weapon on him today”.
It’s up to us to protect ourselves and be fearful because no one else is doing it for us.Those women are probably shouting at us from their graves “be careful”.
I don’t want to be one of the hundreds of “ oh lessons have been learned” press releases that the police make.
They are frightening, your ex has more than proved that to you already. You should be frightened.-
It was a scare I have never felt. I did not know he would do this at all. No idea he would come around uninvited though I thought he could. He had received lawyers letters (timeframe removed by Moderator). He would have realised he was heading for a divorce and no chance anymore to get back with me. He would have been angry. I imagine he had some weapon in the car though I did not get close to car. He had done this to my father previously and had taken a weapon ie tried to find the house though he did not remember where the house was. There was no messing around with this guy and I had had previously himself and two other guys coming around as a threat via txt.
Yes I had every reason to believe there was something extremely bad going on. The screaming I did in my own home and saying he is going to kill me was indication I was hugely full of fear.
What you do in those circumstances is not a choice – your body pushes you into it. It’s all instinct and for me it was to hide away from someone like this – when as you say he had proven he was happy to hit/ put me in hospital etc.
I did end up calling him later – I had not called in a while and all I got was abuse so I hung up. There was no point talking to abusive person. I spoke to lawyers instead
It is not something I would want to go through again.
Yes I could have easily been a statistic here.
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