Feel like I can’t breath

[Aerialcircus]

It’s not even been long since the last incident, he told me Saturday that (detail removed by Moderator).
Today I went to a hobby I do and I just couldn’t do any of it and all I could hear was him telling me how useless I am . He’s acting like nothing happened sitting on sofa today and Altho I’m barely talking to him he’s like maybe we should (detail removed by Moderator) . And I can’t work out how he’s completely ok. But I was trying to do this stuff and I just couldn’t and I just heard him telling me how useless I was . We then go onto a free session where is just practise and I just couldn’t regulate my breathing and I just had to leave , I didn’t say bye I grabbed my shoes and left without them even on .
Sitting in my car sobbing , first time I’ve cried since the weekend
And I don’t even know if this post has a purpose I just needed to say it out loud . I sound pathetic I know I just can’t catch my breath
I dunno if it’s cause he was sober when he said all this stuff so it hits harder like he clearly meant it and now I have no self belief and I just feel useless . I just wish I could disappear

[KIP.]

Talk to your GP. This man is traumatising you x

[KIP.]

Contact your local womens aid too for support. Abuse always gets worse, it’s nit your fault and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. He’s making a choice to abuse you, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

[Bananaboat]

Sending you a big hug. The not being able to breath sounds like it could be a panic attack. The act they put on like nothing has happened is so cruel, it’s designed to do exactly this though and make you crumble, make you think you’re the problem. Do your hobby and know you’re not the things he says, don’t let him spoil it for you. Deep breaths, you got this x

[Aerialcircus]

I had to walk out , il also have to face the questions next week
Normally if I have a session I can’t do much I try to focus on one thing I did right because I love it so much . But today all I could hear was him telling me I’m nothing
I can’t stop crying tonight since I left I just felt like I couldn’t catch my breath and I needed out

[Bananaboat]

It’s ok to walk out, if I’ve understood right you walked out of the hobby session? If so you don’t have to answer any questions just say you didn’t feel well. Or, if you feel safe to could you tell someone there things aren’t good at home? It’s ok to cry. Listen to your body, it’s telling you you’re unhappy xx

[longjourneylife]

When I reached that point, him literally taking your breath from you, within weeks I was gone. All I kept repeating to the Police is that I couldn’t breathe. Don’t underestimate how you’re feeling, this is real and you need and deserve your oxygen. No one’s opinion counts but your own, but we do care about you, you absolutely do matter and you need to know this. For your sake, do what’s right for you. Good luck, keep posting and trust yourself X

[Anonymous]

The more derogatory down putting things he says to to the longer they’ll stay in your mind long after he’s gone (if he’s goes really hope he does) his words will stay in you your mind really effecting your self esteem before you know you’ll end up not doing things you love and self sabotaging, they don’t care about what they say to us or how it’s made us feel (they actually get annoyed when we try to get them to understand) they play it down like we’re overreacting or irrational, if you do get out please cut all contact with him so he won’t be able to get hold of you to manipulate and control you back into the relationship in different ways 💖💕💖

[nbumblebee]

Recently i did a training course something ive never done b4 he hated it and spent months being nasty telling me it was stupid making it hard for me to study at all. On the morning of my exam i was sick i couldnt breeth as i stood there in front of all those people i almost walked out i wanted to cry. But i did it and I passed. He never once asked me he still doesnt know i passed. I start a new one soon.
I did it dispite him i did it to show nyself no matter what he calls me or does to ne or makes me feel somewhere deep inside im still me. I also do a hobby but i do mine b4 i go to work as he wont allow it so i leave work an hour earlier and he doesnt know.
He doesnt like me working he tells me to quit every day but he leaves b4 me so i am often able to go it isnt easy every day is a fight but I fight because what is the alternative? I cant leave so I must fight for a life.
Do your hobby dont let him take that away he takes so much keep hold of this go back and if they ask just say you had a headache and didnt want to make a fuss or be brave and confide in one of them. People will help but you have got to reach out and ask for it. Just dont give up.
Stay safe x

[Aerialcircus]

I suppose I just feel embarrassed, one of the girls knows what I’m going through but the others dont and I feel so rude I just walked out but that’s all I could do . I’m friendly with the person who runs it and now I’m beating myself up that I left so rudely .
I get the work thing when I’m working my husband tells me I don’t need to work my wage is so pathetic why do I bother when he can support us both . But when I’m not working he tells me it’s his money and he pays for everything and when I go out etc he says (detail removed by Moderator).
I start a new job that I worked my arse of to get (detail removed by Moderator) he hates it he won’t admit it but he keeps throwing in stuff like wage is pathetic and what if you get hurt (detail removed by Moderator) trying to feed into my anxiety . I’m trying not to let him knock me down and still force myself to start the job I’ve worked hard for it . I say to him my wage is less because (detail removed by Moderator) I’ve always put my life on hold he’s had it so easy . I absolutely love my hobby like I LOVE it, it’s my favourite time of the week . But his words of I’m nothing has just sat in my brain this week I can’t shake it off and when I couldn’t do anything in the hobby I just let it eat me away well he’s right and everyone here is thinking it which I’m sure they wasn’t . X

[nbumblebee]

Yep to all you have said i get all that too i get told (detail removed by Moderator) and have had (detail removed by Moderator). It wont ever stop i think hes getting used to it then bang along comes a nasty word. He has even told me my place is at hime looking after him and he said he hated seeing ne happy im not even allowed to talk about my day so I get you.
Troubke is we have to be our own heros here as nobody will save us people can help guide support but its only us that can change this either by standing up to them when and if its safe putting in boundries or by leaving them. I have to say yes i am a huge hypocrite as im still here but leaving them really is the best option as hard as it is to accept.
For now until you reach that point you have to hang on keep going move fowards keep putting yout foot down keep working and most definatly keep up your hobby mine is ny safe place i wouldnt be here without it im guessing you are the same so do not stop.
Anxiety is a huge part of our struggles you worry about what these people think because you are always in a state of panic of worry but these people are not him and they wont judge you i bet theyve forgotten completly after all they have their own lives and as we are very aware you dont know what others are going through.
Do not let this or him stop you do not let him win this. You need to hang on to this as this will be one thing that will keep you going in the dark days when you feel like giving up a hobby a dream a job they keep us wanting to wake up each day dont ever lose that.
Think about reaching out to womans aid or a dr too sweetie when you are ready help is out there. Xx

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