Feel like life is over .coercion /control

[Mellow]

Just lately I’ve been thinking of moving out of my area at the minute (detail removed by Moderator).my solicitor barley talks to me and I’m finding it hard to even open up to her about the abuse I’ve not told anyone for all those years and now my children are at stake.I’ve just moved where I am now and I just feel like going again away from here with my kids and avoiding what’s going on .i don’t evenwBt my kids to get custody with him the issue is my kids are too young they don’t see the abuse I don’t want them end up like him.i just want to leave so he doesn’t find me I can’t stop thinking about going.but my kids are so settled where I am.it’s a problem

[Lisa]

Hi Mellow,

If you’re feeling unsafe staying where you are with him knowing where you live then thinking about moving again makes sense. You deserve to feel safe and settled yourself in your own home.

If you had any support from your local domestic abuse service or disclosed the abuse to any medical professionals, you could ask them to write an evidentiary letter for you to share with your solicitor. It probably wouldn’t give all the details of the abuse but would show that you’ve experienced it and that it’s something that needs to be taken into consideration. It might also be a way of starting that conversation and perhaps your solicitor could then ask you about anything she needs to know.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Marmalade]

I think you need to be careful here Mellow. I did read the bits of your post before they were moderated out. Women can feel nervous about their ex knowing their address if that means they are unsafe and that is a good reason to move as Lisa has said.
That, however, is quite different from moving to run away from court proceedings about children so that contact orders cannot be made. That can be a big risk as a judge/magistrates can tend to be unhappy with people who try to evade court orders and it can seriously count against them. I would talk about any concerns you have about the court proceedings with your solicitor. He/she is the person to discuss this with. Also it’s a really good idea to co operate with the court welfare officer/worker preparing a report for the court. Unless there are good reasons to depart from a report, the judge /magistrates usually follow the report recommendations, so it is important to speak to this person so that they understand your position and can take everything into consideration before submitting the report to the court.
Good luck dealing with everything

[Author]

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