Feel so angry

[Escapee]

Hi my lovelies,

I’m really struggling with anger. I’ve never been someone to get angry and I’ve also learnt to suppress it but I have so much anger in me and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I’m angry that he’s stolen my identity (he has taken on my old self and I don’t know whether to be pleased he’s learning about compassion and being positive; be angry that he’s behaving like this; or completely freaked out as it’s disturbing!) I’m angry for all he has put me through; I’m angry because I was naïve in thinking it was just how relationships were; I’m angry because he broke me – sexually, physically, mentally and spiritually.

What do I do with all this anger???? How have you got through this bit….I feel so conflicted about how to let this all go.

[Bettertimesahead]

My anger is about how little we have financially because he didnt manage his business well and spent so much on alcohol. I’m angry at how hes treated my sons, my dad, other people. But I’m focusing on moving forward and not letting him ruin my new life. I’ve still a long way to go
to go but sometimes anger is good. It stops me feeling sorry for him.

[Escapee]

Hi BTA,

Yes, being angry does stop the guilt and feeling sorry for them.

I’m just not sure how to get through this bit without hurting others. I’m so defensive and quick to anger especially with people I don’t know. I recently had a bad driving experience and I think if the man had pulled over and continued to be abusive towards me I would have hit him!

[Camel]

It’s really not healthy to be consumed by so much rage, especially if you feel it could spill over into something violent. I think you should seek help from your GP as feeling like this must be frightening for you. You owe it to yourself to get all the care you need and deserve. x

[Escapee]

Hi Camel,

It’s so out of character for me. I’m going through the process of getting help at the moment so hopefully I’ll get some guidance.

The advice out there is so contradictory! I’m trying the ‘sit with the anger and show it compassion’ and trying to avoid situations that may cause me to be reactive.

Have you gone through this stage?

[Hazydayz]

Morning Escapee. How’s things today? Hope your feeling more relaxed? Soon… less angry about things. Wishing you a sunny day 🌞 Hazydayz x

[Escapee]

Thank you hazydayz …….sunshine days are always very welcome. 💕

[Eggshells]

Hi Escapee,

I can totally relate to this. It’s a horrible feeling -.especially when you are not used to it and it can totally eat you up, as can feelings of hate.

These are normal feelings though and accepting that it’s ok to feel anger is part of the solution. Give yourself permission to feel that anger then find an outlet that works for you.

I have a few outlets. I silent scream. It’s something I can do anywhere because no one hears it. I also write it down, just spit it all out in a letter meant for him but that I know I will never post.

As time goes by and the pieces of my life start to come together I seem to be feeling less and less angry.

[Escapee]

Thank you so much my lovely eggshells.
Your wise words were exactly what I needed to hear xxxx

[Camel]

Hi Escapee

Sorry I’ve not replied before. I can’t say that I felt anger in the way you describe but We all deal with things differently. Your reaction is no worse than mine was (drinking too much.)

If you feel that your anger is taking control of you, you should you treat it as a condition that needs treatment. This doesn’t necessarily mean pills or counselling. It could be as simple as dropping a few commitments and getting more sleep. Often we cram the day with too much stuff, afraid of the silence if we don’t.

[Author]

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