- This topic has 11 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
-
Hey I’m sorry to hear that. Have you spoken to the helpline on here. If you feel threatened or he abuses you, you can ring the police and have him removed. My ex did this to me. Wouldn’t move out. Just stayed to continue his abuse. It might be worth getting your name off the tenancy because of his abusive behaviour and move elsewhere? These abusers are master manipulators. At least you now know what will happen the next time you back down.
-
HI HUn
That is there classic line they are not moving out, so u move out then, find somewhere in secret then move , if u have kids and can find grounds to stayin house then get order to have him removed, i personallydidnt feel safe so had to move out myself, keep reaching out for support to keep u strong
-
-
His told me if I moved he’d come with me & he won’t be far away.
Not able to get council to take him off tenancy as they’ve told him his got as much right to live here as me, said I just need to sit right until he gets offered a flat from the council. I’ve tried to add my self to other councils but they say I need a local connection, just feel like everyone’s against me. -
-
-
-
-
Hi Twinsnon,
Please phone your local Women’s Aid group or the helpline. They can help you. If you are feeling trapped, you could always consider refuge where you would be safe and classed as involuntarily homeless due to domestic abuse and you would be priority need. You would get lots of brilliant support and help to heal while you are in the refuge too so it might be really worth thinking about.
Best wishes,
Lisa
Forum Moderator -
-
Do you have screen shots of text messages or anything? have you confided in any of your friends? Has he ever acted up in public, like near your kids school? Keeping evidence is so so tricky as its hard to have privacy and abusers keep such a track of you, but sometimes things slip through the net.
I used to take pictures of bruises on my face but he always found them and deleted them or would ask me why I had these pictures (in a scary way.) So I never had evidence. But one time my face was all swollen and misshapen. I covered it with make up and pretended at work that I had a tooth absess. Someone put a pic of me on twitter (not because of my face, I happened to be (detail removed by Moderator).) I dont think others would notice that easily unless they knew what to look for but I kind of think if I ever needed it, I would use that picture as evidence. My face was assymetrical. I have also secretly saved whatsapp conversations, which are full of verbal abuse and threats, by saving them or having screen shots saved in another email address. If you have a friend you trust you could send them stuff, to cover your tracks.
Try and think creatively. In this digital age of information everywhere there might be some evidence you can use.
Try not to feel like everyone is against you. I can totally see why you do, but actually there are people out there who understand and want to help you. Even police officers are so much more aware these days.Since the coercive control legal changes, people understand more about abuse.
I have a friend who used to help train police officers. She said it was difficult, because sometimes abuse is bewildering. She would have to explain why they needed to be aware that, for example, waking some one up every half an hour, seemingly non violent acts of behaviour, are abuse. She told me this because I was explaining an incident where my partner kept throwing water at me in bed.
The police, or lots of them anyway, have had their eyes opened. Please, please keep trying.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
