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He was driving past my house beeping his horn (detail removed by Moderator), knocked on the door, woke my parents up. My mum told me she was stood at the door (detail removed by Moderator) waiting for him to knock again. I believe her when she says she will hurt him if I talk to him again. He sent food around same day and my parents so mad. So mad. I worry the stress could kill them. I broke and messaged him, so i could have some peace. Immediate relief. If my mum finds out, she will be so mad. I think I should move out. Then at least he might leave the house alone. And I wouldn’t have to be told how stupid I am, childish, naive, how the only reason she won’t hurt me is cos I’m her daughter, not being allowed out unless I’m with someone or have an appointment. And have to worry about her having a heart attack or actually going after him (detail removed by Moderator) and how would I stop that? Cos I’ve stopped her trying to hit him before and it’s awful to have to do. God forbid she gets in trouble with police
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I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, this might be hard to hear but your mum sounds like she is also showing abusive/controlling behaviour. It’s actually a subtle threat, common with abusers to say ‘I’d hurt you but…’, you say she’s controlling when you go out/who you contact. I get she’s on one hand trying to protect you and them but the detail you provide sounds more than that.
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I fell out with him again, asked my mum to keep my phone and laptop away from me so I wouldn’t be tempted to be in contact with him. She just kinda snubbed the idea. I get it, I’m an adult, and she’s not my keeper. But she will be really mad when she finds out Ive been talking to him again. All I do is hurt people. All I do is let them down.
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Detail7 I’m sorry you are in this position. Please stop blaming yourself. You’re in a very conflicted space and it sounds like both people inlvolved are trying to make you feel responsible and using your emotions against you. Both of these people are responsible for their own actions and it sounds like you deserve some kindness and support at this stage. Engaging on here should help, even if it’s to better understand your relationship/the nature of DV and how to get out. I hope you’re allowed some head space and your mum supports you and exerpts a little less pressure on you soon.x
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