Feeling lost

[MamaBear]

I posted the other day about wanting to move and seeking private rentals closer to my family as I don’t feel safe here any more. Unfortunately the private rental fell through, the landlord didn’t want to continue with my application.

I dusted myself off and decided to apply with one of the councils that covers where my family live, after applying a lovely lady pointed me in the direction of another service that would “boost” my banding. My understanding was that as I have experienced abuse even though I have housing I am classed as homeless as the housing is not considered safe. Therefore I could apply, contact this other service and because of the abuse I wouldn’t have to “prove a local connection” to the area.

the other service called me today and I feel so deflated. She said I need to prove local connection for the last 5 years . Literally all my family is in the area but my main connection is my dad, he has nothing to do with “prove” his connection other than his birth place being on his certificate and his latest tenancy agreement that is only a couple of years old – so not enough

I was very honest on the forms, and she basically insinuated I was safe because I was protected by bail conditions. My heart literally sank because I felt like I wasn’t being believed. I know it’s probably my own fault for not reporting things, but I was scared. I lived through it, it was hell and now the thought of not being believed is too much for me.

She then told me to approach my local council, but I live in such a small town he would find me easily, all it takes is one person to see me.

I can’t “prove my local connection” so my application will likely be rejected. I feel lost and back to square one. She said if I can produce the evidence I’d be a band B, and will be waiting upwards of two years 😞 I’m not sure if  where to go from here I just needed a bit of a rant

[Lisa]

Hi MamaBear,

I’m so sorry that you’ve run up against these difficulties when all you want is to be able to feel safe. It might be worth contacting Shelter, who are the experts in housing law, to get some advice. It does, unfortunately, vary how well councils and other organisations understand housing law around domestic abuse, so arming yourself with the facts can feel empowering. You might also find it helpful to reach out to the local domestic abuse service where you’re currently living. They may be able to provide advocacy with the council in the area you’re wanting to move to.

It’s not your fault for not reporting things. So many women choose not to report for so many reasons, very often because it doesn’t feel safe and they’re scared. That shouldn’t impact the support that you receive. Bail conditions will be for a limited time and they don’t remove the fear and hypervigilance that you’re living with.

I’m also going to send you a private message with some information.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Cherries]

Hiya.

I understand the feeling deflated. Its such a battle sometimes isn’t it.

Im not sure why its different for that council…was it through a DA hub?

I didn’t have to prove connection and indeed I had the option to leave to a neighbour council if I chose to. A support worker at the council’s DA hub put everything in place for this so if this wasn’t your route already maybe see if its available to you.

In the end I managed to get a flat through a housing association, MUCH quicker than the time frame they were saying. That same week I got offered a council flat too so try not to be discouraged by that number…especially if you’re willing to apply for everything you can. They told me at least a year. It worked out 3-4 months I think?

But I applied for literally everything  I could.

Housing associations sometimes advertise on sites like Rightmove (how I got mine…I got in quick and got lucky)

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