feeling on edge

[Narna]

i’ve been seperated from my ex for (detail removed by moderator) now. and im just feeling on edge and uncomfortable.
originally he would walk past my home.But more recently ive been going to my mothers with the baby during the day so im not alone. my family and i have noticed that he’s now started going past with his dog and peering into the window as he passes. which obviously makes me feel even more on edge add uncomfortable.

im not sure if theres anything i can do.

[Lisa]

Dear Narna,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear what your ex is doing, this is understandably unsettling, it is stalking behaviour.

In terms of what you can do- you can contact the police on 101 and ask if it’s possible to speak to a domestic abuse officer, and log what he is doing. The police could put a marker on your and your mother’s address so they know the history if you need to call in an emergency. If his behaviour continues, you could consider getting a non-molestation order, have a look at the DV Assist website for information about this.

It’s up to you if you feel ready to take these steps, if you don’t yet then I suggest keeping a clear diary of his behaviour so that you can present it in future if necessary.

Keep Posting, I hope you find the forum a supportive place to be,

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Narna

Sorry to hear that he is still abusing you by stalking now. You are supported and understood here, and there definitely are actions you can take to take control of your life back from him.

Stalking is harrassment, and illegal in itself, it can be some of the most terrifying tactics of perpetrators especially ex partners once we have left. The law states that three incidents constitute a pattern of behaviour, of stalking, and are chargeable/arrestable offenses. You can take control back of your life and you deserve for you and your baby to have peace during this precious time, you both need to be relaxed and enjoy and nuture this special family time together, bonding and growing in confidence and love.

You will not be judged here, only supported, well done for posting about your experiences and welcome I hope you will post more as you need.

warmest wishes

ts

[Strongenough]

Hi Narna,

This is stalking behaviour that unfortunately a lot of abusers use as some form of control tactic when you have left. In my experience it’s good to have a witness so great that your Mum can be your witness. It’s scary and unsettling and he is not allowed to do this to you. I found the national stalking helpline were a good support as were my local DV police unit.

Like the others have said keep a diary of these events as even if you don’t feel you can report it now, police will ask for a history should it escalate.

I am sure many of the women on this forum have experience of this, and I for one completly understand what you are going through. Stay Safe ❤

[Bananaboat]

Could you get a little cheap camera to record the street and it would capture him walking past/times/what he does? Not just a ring doorbell as that’s motion detection only but one ppl use for dogs/nannies etc, they’re about £20-30. Just an idea

[Narna]

hi everyone, thank you for the advice.
my mum has invested in a ring camera and we have caught him on video using this. we also collectively as a family have photos of him standing outside.(before installing the camera)
sorry i’ve taken soo long to respond. my head has been all over the place; with looking over my shoulder constantly. Plus he has now begun spreading rumours about me and posting on social media making out that im horrible and evil etc . Everyone seems to be taken in by it which really gets me down. he’s even gone out of his way to say this stuff to my mum.
it sounds really stupid saying this but i really could do with a friend right now and at the same time i really don’t trust anybody.im just paranoid about it all…

[Narna]

@bananaboat @strongenough @Twisted Sister

[Author]

Posts