Feeling overwhelmed now everything is over

[terribleheadspace]

Not sure if anyone can relate, but the fleeing with only the clothes on my back, police, non molestation order… it’s all now stopped, it’s finished, I’m safe.

Each stage held so much stress and I powered through/was distracted but now everything has stopped im left with just my thoughts, I feel the enormity of what I had to do and what I shouldnt have had to do. I feel angry. I feel like it isnt fair. I feel like I’ve stuffed my emotions into a box and its slowly creeping towards me trying to open its lid. How do I begin to process this. Ive taken up every piece of support I can do along the way, Im going to a support group, Ive got counselling, I’ve got medication and I still feel like I cant face what’s in that box. How do you process abuse?

How have others felt when they finally had to sit with the emotions of it all after leaving? After facing so many hurdles honestly I thought I was through the worst part and I am in a literal sense, he cant come near me and doesnt know where I am… but just a hint of me trying to process anything to do with my feelings about the whole thing/abuse and I crumble, I’m angry (at myself and him), lonely, sleeping more during the day/dont want to go out and at night I have to have sounds on to sleep. I have no friends where I am. I honestly think my solution is I have to not try to rush my recovery, but accept that it takes time but it’s like I’m fighting myself not to do that, I wont allow myself to go any deeper than the surface and those emotions are hard enough.

I’m sorry I know I sound really sorry for myself and I am in a way I guess, but my intention really is for someone hopefully to give me some tips on how to feel less depressed even if it’s little things I can do and that hopefully they have been through this stage and are out the other side, that it does get easier.

[Hiya@]

Hi, early days are very overwhelming, I am a few weeks from also leaving with nothing very much. You are doing really well you have accessed lots of support and no doubt you will feel everything and all your former routines have gone. It’s very tough but you have survived and everyday is another day away from abuse. I have started to use the forums to express a lot of pent up emotions, I also keep a journal, I have read a few books survivers story’s as well as some theory about coercive control and abuse.
You will process the emotions when you are ready, for years you may have had to push down feelings in order to actually survive, I know I did. It’s huge and scary but you are safe and free x*x

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