Feeling professionals have no idea

[Anonymous]

Hi I have totally had enough of professionals misreading what he did to both me & my adult son (not his) Over a (detail removed by Moderator) of abuse, outside major trauma, his abuse on top, living with serious anxiety (that’s both me & my son, again caused by our abuser) yes outside trauma too on top. Now away I’m the cause!!! How extremely wrong, police were useless listened to him, I was so foolish kept contact, believing he’d finally realised the damage he’d caused!!! I just can not believe that professionals can get it so very wrong, they have listened to others who in fact were missing from my life years, listened to people who did not see hear or witness our abuse. It was absolutely vile for so so many years, he also abused his own family who cover his trail like they did not know what he was like. He retraumatised all previous traumas going back to my childhood, played on every fear I had. I am not a mental case just me and my son are struggling to recover from major trauma! Of many years, abuser walks away Scott free, continues his smear campaign, makes himself look the victim, proclaims & convinces everyone that I’m a bad mum!! I so wish that the truth of what he did to us all those years could be revealed. I have never known such a vile toxic nasty evil lying (detail removed by Moderator) in my life!!! I pray that I can recover from this. My anxieties are sky high, I am depressed & have ptsd or cptsd. I think I have always had general anxiety disorder from a very young age, but this was probably caused through childhood trauma, which included sexual, physical & emotional abuse too, all aspects re fueled by our abuser! Yes I’ll be the first to admit my nerves are s**t to pieces, I had coped perfect well before I met the abuser, struggled through many major traumas, but coped fine, at the time heart broken but got through. Since leaving the abuser I attended the freedom project, it was amazing but I feel sure I attended it too early, I had the sudden realisation that in fact I had been abused all my life, and that in that case it was all my fault, I was too soft too sensitive, sitting target for further abusers to take advantage of me. It is true I have let people walk all over me, forgiven a hundred times, thought they have problems too, it’s OK too keep forgiving & it’s normal to be treated like a worthless human. My boundaries have been so weak, now my walls so high that I see it is all my fault for being so weak, not having the strength to stop anyone from acting so vile. Throughout my life I’ve done everything to keep everyone else happy, put my own feelings last, as a result I attracted a serious abuser who to be honest has more or less completely emotionally disabled me. Professionals truly have no idea at all, they think they do but they do not. I was told to try not to involve police, I had to as he was manic over the phone, made death threats, he knew people who could do it, even his sister, he was going to get her killed. Many years he used threats of having people killed or injuries for life that would cause brain damage, physically disable for life. We trod on eggshells 24/7 over (detail removed by Moderator)!! Professionals wonder why we end up in this state of utter confusion & fear!! Never was black eyes or broken bones but this recovering from trauma is both terrifying & daunting, something within the system needs to change because as if being abused years isn’t bad enough you then end up feeling abused by the system, sorry I know we are all suffering greatly. Is it any wonder that we end up through feeling extreme fear that we feel we just can not go on! He made us feel suicidal, I so many times wanted to end my life but did not as I love my adult kids too much. I have come really close though I will admit as the haunting left by that (detail removed by Moderator) is so massive U now wonder with professionals dealing with it so unorofessionally should I just give up because yet again both myself & my son are surrounded by them while only knowledge appears to be learnt from a book & not from actually listening to “The whole story” so sorry this is long, feeling I’m being forced into the position of between a rock & a hard place!! Xx

[Anonymous]

Ps I was asked whilst in a mental health hospital did I want a safety order against him I said no I was no longer scared of him, let me explain at the time, idiot once again I was not, believed he cared allowed him to visit, I truly believed he had realised the harm he had caused!!! I have got to the point where I strongly believe professionals do not understand! Whilst in their, there were male patients who went from calm to furious moments, females too, I was put on anti depressants & anti psychotic drugs which made me worse, a lot worse! The patients made me feel like I was back in our old home environment, TRUTH! so again St that time he was portraying kind caring! Hoovering!! He told me years I was gone in the fn head NOT!!! he I am also certain of more than ever before has npd schizophrenia & is a pathological gambler. Being in hospital convinced me totally seeing other patients, they were exactly like he had been years (schizophrenia ran in his family) I was also asked what was he angry over? at time I shrugged my shoulders TRUTH he got angry over everything in life! I also was told they’d noticed I hadn’t showered, no I’d washed in my room, TRUTH twice I had had a make patient enter my room in the middle of the night & shake me awake for a lighter! Another male patient had heard me speak of domestic violence & abuse at a later point the same make patient asked had he fd my sister! Who had visited with my abuser so I could tell him not to come again, I ended up saying sorry to him, by which point he knew I’d told police, doctors other professionals had help to get me & my adult son away, I was terrified of his response, it was exactly the same as a child, I tried so hard to tell but then had to Back down & say sorry I lied about you & said some horrible things. TRUTH I had never lied! Also prior to nearly losing my mind just prior to hospital he had used extreme fear tactics, quite a few people around me knew what we had escaped from, I am not crazy & I am not mad either, they too had obviously not believed the situation we’d come from & said some pretty crazy stuff, again fear tactics! I have since found out that 2 of these males are in fact abusers themselves!!! When we moved, next door had been a heroine haven left empty, we had heard someone in there, again terrifying to come from abuse to That! I was told they’d grown cannabis in the attic, also told by letting agent not to put anything in our artic, again our abusers relative was a drug dealer & taker, something he knew scared me, Our abuser had told me on phone whatever you do don’t put anything in the attic, to that I got seriously scared though omg he came here before us! My GP had the cheek to tell me I was stringing things together that did not make sense!!!! Oh it made perfect sense clearly, I had also told people that it wouldn’t surprise me if our abuser had killed, I was with him throughout one of his close family members dying of cancer, his treatment of them was DISGUSTING again something no one else witnessed except me!!! His usual act of the loving kind caring relative! No this is all so wrong, Why are we treated like absolute idiots by professionals. Is it any wonder that women & children are killed & seriously harmed because professionals read it wrongly! I thought that police & GPS were being specially trained to know exactly what long slow deciduous abuse does, in mine & my sons case that got to daily the last few years . extreme fear tactics on me after we left, yes my fault because I was the idiot who kept contact, begged everyone to believe me, justified myself a million times over to everyone, almost like I was guilty, Got angry & frustrated no one seemed to believe. You do end up feeling no one believes you because they simply don’t xx

[Lyng]

My heart goes out to you. Yesterday I saw some people who finally might help. I am struggling so badly with my kids, my family is fed up and thinks I should let them live with him. A part of me wants that. But I love my kids and I don’t want that for them. Police, counselors, doctors, many of them got it wrong over the years. Immediate danger is not always a knife or a gun. I get it. I feel your pain.

[Anonymous]

Hi Lyng, the pain is tremendous & unbearable too, I shake & cry & feel like I will never be able to recover, I am quite disgusted by the whole system, I know thousands upon thousands of women are going through hell too & I feel selfish to feel so desperately in need of one to one counselling but this last year has been the worst year of my life, how I am still alive I will never know, how the trauma hasn’t completely finished me I will never know. I feel utterly on my own too, I have lost everyone as I have been in such a dreadful state that I’ve gone on & on & on obsessed over him, justified myself a million times over, of cause everyone does not want to keep hearing my problems I don’t blame them! I also know how many cut backs their are all around & am so lucky to have been helped as much as I have been. My son too. it always sounds like I am ungrateful I’m truly not, I sometimes wish I’d never left as had no idea how weak he’d made me, I feel worthless & useless & feel so guilty to my son that I ever trusted a man who appeared genuine, furthermore why did it take Me so many years to realise then so weak I still kept believing things would get better! My heart goes out to you too & every single person who has been abused xx

[Ayanna]

Dearest Blueberry, you are such a wonderful person.
Your life experiences have been horrendous and yet you have been so resilient to survive all of it.
None of what has happened to you has ever been your fault.
I fully agree with you that the professionals who deal with us are clueless. They insist they understand, but they are dumb.
Unfortunately this system is not on the side of victims.
The support goes to male abusers. That is the patriarchy on which this world is built upon. Male violence is promoted at every level and their victims are labeled as mentally disturbed.
You are a fully sane person.
But you are distressed by what has happened to you. After your ordeal your stress reactions are perfectly normal.
Post here and write what goes on in your head.
Also, look for free events that deal with getting back confidence and self care.
Like you I lost everybody during my ordeal.
There are not many people who are true friends when we open up about abuse and the trauma we deal with.
Please keeping getting through this.
Do never give up.
There is a life after abuse. It will come.
I am glad you built high walls around yourself.
You need to protect yourself now.
Request therapy from your GP. They must refer you. (detail removed by moderator)

Nightmares and flashbacks will haunt you.
I live with that. They are part of my life.
You are not ungrateful. You have been let down by a system that happily spends money on violent males.
Keep pestering the doctors to give both you and your son therapy. It takes long now, but if you insist, one day they will give it to you. Also check whether there are any charities left in your area that would help you with therapy.
Never think you are undeserving or you are not grateful enough.
The opposite is the case.
You deserve to get into a very good long term therapy so that you can work on everything that has ever happened to you and rise from it like a phoenix.
A society that promotes male violence should also take responsibility to treat their victims.
You are deserving of every help possible and you are in your right to request it.

[Anonymous]

Hi Ayanna I think it is very difficult for the system to cope with all the cut backs and I can understand that fully & that there are waiting lists & I expected to have to wait for any kind of therapy, my GP was good & did try her best to get me seen, I feel it was my fault because when I left I kept contact I was scared of him & for him too. So very much feel it was my fault. I hung on for several years feeling terrified of feeling so desperately low. He knew exactly how to scare Me & it was the treading on eggshells 24/7 that was the worst, He was a complete controller but very clever with it, always making me look like it was my fault. I did my very best to keep going but struggled badly, After leaving I had said I did not know how I hadn’t collapsed in a heap, he knew how weak I was, when with him I did not go to the doctors as saw no point, whilst in that environment neither myself or my son could have recovered, it would have been impossible. We were both nervous wrecks around him, once away my fault again because I kept contact, I did keep believing that I’d got it all wrong, but I know how he was & did not. My son now says he did not bother him that much but going right back it did very much, he couldn’t handle seeing me in such a dreadful state through out, from when he was really young the abuser wouldn’t & didn’t tolerate anything, it made us scared to live a normal life, whilst at home the abuser would complain at our slightest noise, it was a vile atmosphere to be in for us both. Also vile for my son to witness mum constantly hurt & crying & getting in a state, I’m not weak but was weakened by him terribly so was my son. I did also get help with the freedom programme, again I was grateful, very grateful but sadly it made me acutely aware of just how bad it had been on a psychological level & that I had been abused most of my life, something again that made me feel my fault for allowing it to have ever happened. I look back & think could I have done more to stop him & be stronger in standing up to him, but know I could not as when I had said no it just got a lot worse. Xx

[EeyoreNoMore]

Hi Blueberry.

As ever, Ayanna has given you a perfect answer.

I hope you are away from him and I hope you are no contact. In my experience, Women’s Aid and the National Domestic Violence Helpline have been amazing.

You are amazing.

All that abuse and you are still here, still fighting. That’s an achievement.

[Anonymous]

Hi Eeyornomore I have found this forum so helpful without it I could not have even begin to understand why I was feeling so much worse after we left. Everyone kept telling me to go no contact & I struggled to, even leaving was told just go, I dare not even do that as knew his anger, I know I have to survive for my son I know I have to get well quickly as hate feeling so ill. What is the worst feeling in the world is guilt that I was unable to stop outside trauma & unable to stop the abuser, unable to stop how others have been so utterly convinced by the abusers lies, making me look like an idiot & a mental case. I know everyday of every year I did my best, according to what was going on. My son used to stay out of his way in his bedroom had suffered severe bullying at school, he would then come home to further bullying from the abuser,things like my son was bullied for his ears, the abuser would whistle or sing dumbo the elephant. My son was bullied at school for his weight (he has never been fat) abuser would go on about my sons weight. My son had cried at school whilst all hell was happening around us, again bullied at school, the abuser saw us as pathetic & weak & scolded us for crying, scolded us for being scared, scolded us for crying when loved ones died, it feels now like we are not allowed to show emotions, Abuser although hidden well also abused his own relatives throughout major things going on. Guess the truth is everyone now sees me as the one who was the weak one the one who prevented my son now adult from getting stronger, something absolutely impossible for us both living so many years with an abuser xx

[fizzylem]

Its so hard to find the right support huh – I think unless the helper has experienced it no one can ever really truly understand. I’ve put everyone out that doesnt get it atm; and I get my support from those who do, those who can give me validation – as its tough out there huh!? It messes with my mind sometimes, yesterday met with unsympathetic doc wanting to send me for a psychiatric assessment – errrr no thank you, I do not need a label – and how is that helpful to me? I’m suffering from the after math of an traumatic relationship with a psychopath and thus all my symptoms are perfectly normal thank you. I know what will help me and its exactly what you said to me earlier – stay focussed on the plan and don’t deviate not once – and bags of self care. Just take your time and do whatever it is that makes you feel even just a little better even it makes no sense as to why you feel the need to do it – if that makes sense. You and your son come first first and first now hey every time. Please hang on in there sister! You can do this and you will overcome it – just give yourself time and what you need x

[Anonymous]

Hi Fizzylem Thank You for all of that, I know you are suffering too, this is all awful, beyond awful, I am 100% certain that I am not mental & not delusional either, which is something great often called me,both myself & my son (now adult) have had the most traumatic years imaginable! The thing that gets me the very most is that so far not one person has allowed me to speak fully about exactly all that did happen to us, they have all listened to snippets of information and completely got it wrong, even close family, I have no idea how I am still here. I really don’t exaggerate his abuse was psychologically severe the last few years, I did not think I had been physically or sexualy abused but have explained on other posts what he did & ladies have said it was physical and sexual abuse too. I trusted the GP but felt badly let down by her, It was my own fault for keeping contact with him. I wish in hindsight that I’d have stayed until I had c on cred proof of the level of his abuse, he never actually broke bones or gave me black eyes but did physically abuse me. I hope I have the strength to make it through, I am very weak and my anxieties are flying high, That tightness in your chest, almost like you cant breathe, almost like your head will explode with all the flashbacks of him & other major traumas running alongside too. I pray we all get through this and can all be truly free one day. I have to be honest For me personally I doubt I will ever truly recover far too much happened that has traumatised severely x

[alive]

Hi Blueberry,

Thanks for posting and sharing…. you have amazing resilience to have come thus far. I can relate to the horror.
Yes it is difficult to leave and was misundertsood and having to go no contact and changing number which seemed strange in the beginning but was imperative. Sometimes even no contact with extended family may be the safest option to till a woman and her kids are completely safe and move on as perpertrator uses them to get to the survivor.

I too have ended up frustrated and traumatised by the whole thing …the ‘system’ being misunderstood by ‘professionals’, passed from pillar to post facing homelessness and whilst having very periods and homeless- meaning we were given temp accomodation always for one night only- then back to council in the morning with no decision- (in spite of reports, proof, etc…not having access to women’s refuge when i was assessed high -risk with a lovely lady who understood… then once it got passed on, i was told i had nothing in place to pay for rent, only to find that there was no space left) so we were passed between boroughs and within the council itself. Between the refuge and them who said i was entitled to temp accomodation and council saying no reason refuge cant take us :((((
I was quite weak and dizzy from heavy period and the trauma and loads of travelling. Hence In the end a friends said there was someone with a spare room.
Long story short- having come out of the destructive marriage, I noticEd within few months – control and narcisstic tendencies from the person in the house. I put up firm and clear boundaries as lodgers for our safety n wellbeing — and noticed all sorts of covert and overt ‘tantrums’ or reaction. not going into further details for safety- it was quite a shock to my system and i got quite ill , having to also cope ptsd and severe stalking and harassment of leaving. unfortunately one year- support worker assumed i was ‘h-sensitive’ not actually knowing me and that the dynamics is not abuse as im not in a relationship. Evil of abuse, bullying and control is what it is. Is this some crazy-making?

Thanks fizzlyem, for posting. Yes it doesnt help with having those who dont understand and cause confusion to our thoughts- I was asked if I have ever been on medication for mental health- i said no. I was better after leaving than recently, having to navigate the system…but recovering.

Ayanna, great validation. “You are a fully sane person.
But you are distressed by what has happened to you. After your ordeal your stress reactions are perfectly normal”

So true that we realise who our true friends are when we open up. How do you suggest moving forward…and making new friends…I get anxious about this as i rather not talk about the past or where are you from and what do you do ?

What type of therapies are safe and for us and not traumatise further..

I find meditation on scripture helps – recognizing negative thoughts/ of the past as they come and replacing them with positive straightaway, thoughts that we are precious and loved and we have a destiny, a calling- quite a battle though and to have

First time I heard of the forum, great to chat with others who have been there…I wasnt recommended any programme or course and had to search my own..

I watched this yesterday…and was very encouraged and strengthened by it and it is free! (detail removed by Moderator) also cleared a lot of my doubts and affirmed and validated what I experienced and did not feel judged or blamed for being weak.

Hope it will help you Blueberry or anyone else on here even if it’s at least one person.

(Link removed by Moderator)

Much love

[Ayanna]

Alive, I want to send you virtual hugs.
You are so enormously brave!
What a hell you had just because you did not want to be abused!
Please keep moving on and never give up!
You are such a fierce warrior queen.
Getting through all this is huge.

The system is flawed, deeply patriarchal and woman hating.
I hope you make a fuss one day out of all your experiences.
I do and I had an article in an online magazine about a small part of my suffering.
And I carry on making noise.
Much respect for you!

[Anonymous]

Hi Alive, You are so incredibly brave, keep strong, I know how difficult that all is to do, but with each other’s help we can hopefully eventually all find freedom one day, Abuse is the vilest thing to live with, escape from and recover from. I wish I knew how others think, they really have no idea when they think we can all just get on with our lives as if nothing ever happened. Like a lot of ladies on here I had outside major trauma too, and as have had pointed out to me out abusers enjoy seeing us so terrified, to Me and I’m sure others too, that makes the abuser quite sick, to actually enjoy another’s pain & suffering to make themselves look big. Love and hugs to you xx

[alive]

ps
Sorry to clarify what I wrote;
‘I was better after leaving than recently, having to navigate the system…but recovering.’
I seemed to be in a better state of mind when I first left danger than the aftermath and recently having had to navigate through the system, dealing with homelessness and current lodging dynamics.

[Nova]

Hugs Bluberry, I’m feeling your pain and I agree…they just do not get it at all. In spite of their experience it seems they repeat the same old same old..1+2=3 they do not seems to think outside the box, of physcological stereotypes!

You can go in an say plainly this happened this way to me, they act like your talking Chinese and answer as if it’s a different question! Seriously think they should have National and International schemes and training for us…if we choose…o get involved and support other survivors…at least we understand. We should be the ones in the refuges and the point of contact. We know their tricks and their lies.

Serenity is helping support Families, it’s a great idea.

You have a lot to offer Blueberry, we have to raise awareness and shift the lies and perceptions of society.

Keep going strong…Cx

[ILoveMusic]

Blueberry..

Hoping your day is more bearable…referring to the title of your thread..you are one hundred percent correct – The ‘professionals’ who are being paid large salaries to support women like us not only have no idea, they have no experience of what we are going through. I have lost faith in every last one of them.

[Anonymous]

Hi I love music I have also lost faith in everyone, it’s hardly surprising considering what we’ve all been through. I struggle to trust myself let alone anyone professional xx

[Nova]

Hi BB just wanted to post my direct experience with a ‘ professional’ finally plucked up courage to contact a lawyer to move forward with a contentious (detail removed by Moderator) matter…obviously involving the (detail removed by Moderator) ex..I tried to call Rghts for women continuously engaged, so thought I’d email this lawyer explained about low income and concern re fees..
& asked about legal aid.
He basically tore me down n a few lines of the reply, said that if I’m claiming DV I have to prove it, & there are litigating circumstances ….and they are complicated…blah blah blah.
This is what prevents women coming forward to report abuse. This is type of unsupportive blaming attitude is still ingrained …now I’m thinking omg how the hell can I face this, I’m just swamped with it, zero support. It’s taken me a few months just to sort out the aftershock of getting him out of my home. Now I’m also made responsible for having to battle him & this m sussed up patriarchal system ….again. Life is hard enough without the ignorant unkind unhelpful said city on top.

Thanks for bringing up this post atm, I’ve just …had it…with battling the so called ‘ professionals’ whose job only exactly sets …to help others! Look at your your spec. That’s what I want to say, why are you being so Unhelpful.
It’s not much to ask.

I found this in a abusive situation…always problems never any solutions. After getting out, it feels the same, there is little or no help, don’t we have rights?
Who is out there? Very few specially st organisations.. given the enormity of this societal problem. I’ve more chance of gettng an animal help than myself.

Cx

[Nova]

..spellcheck Society …messed up ( ain’t that the truth!…only exists…job spec.

Also it nfuriates me that the professionals always want the woman to PROVE herself. That’s the starting point, stressed out. Cx

[Anonymous]

Hi Cuppa I feel speechless reading what has and is happening to you, it is so wrong & grossly unfair too. It would be almost impossible to prove what happened for most of us, and on top of that I know how weak & what a wreck I feel after years of coping with living with an abuse, I & I think a lot of others believe once away from them feel we will be emotionally & psychologically strong enough to cope the aftershocks to our systems, on truth I have not been, had absolutely no idea that I’d fall so badly into what I would describe as a major breakdown, then asked to prove what they did like you, it all feels like we are having to fight with very little strength, meanwhile the abusers move on, unscathed, the system just seems so wrong, Thoughts to you and everyone who is struggling to cope and get through even more red tape, more professionals who have believed, it is inconceivable that more suffering should incur like you are experiencing. Love and hugs xx

[ILoveMusic]

Morning Blueberry and Cuppa,

Proving what is being done to us or has been done to us is a minefield. Whilst being abused our mind is in a state of high anxiety and post abuse that anxiety level is there whilst reliving and recounting details etc..how we are supposed to articulate times, dates, incidents in a cohesive fashion to fit in with ‘professionals’ box ticking exercise is to me another form of abuse. It’s SO hard to do this with a complete stranger who appears to be so ‘together’ and solid whilst we are falling apart divulging and exposing huge parts of ourselves. This takes every bit of courage we have, what part of this the ‘professionals’ don’t grasp is beyond me…

Strength to all ladies out there today sending healing vibes to all..XX

[Anonymous]

Hi I love music It is all disgusting that after the trauma of abuse that any of us should have to account yet justify what has happened to us & exactly what it was the abusers put us through. It is utter & complete madness, there are men out there who have murdered and who are clever enough to win over the system! I had this conversation with my sister, who looked at me like I was truly mad! These men are professional liars, who could twist & manipulate any situation to make themselves look innocent. I certainly would never trust a single professional at all. They all cover their own backs anyway, so we are in a no win situation all round. This is very blunt but I wish I’d have stayed so he eventually lost it, he was extremely close & utterly furious that I’d spoken out over many things. Xx

[Nova]

Thanks for your replies BB & ILM.

Basically, I don’t want to remember & I don’t want to have to prove myself! Your right it feels like I’m still in the abusive relationship. I want my mind and my life to move forward, with help and support, I do not need to be constantly dragged back into it. I want all ties severed (the practical ones)

He is doing this purposefully to keep me whirling around, remember that feeling ladies when you don’t know whats going on, who said and did what..there is NO way in this life time, I could possibly piece over (detail removed by Moderator) of it together. Not when we don’t have mutual friends (except a couple of mine, one thought he was great btw sucked in< saw him a couple of hours a time, he could keep it going, then run her down when she went) etc. He’s set me up,talk about feather his own nest, he is Mr Wonderful to his family, (they have done zero for him) up on a pedestal, he smiles for the camera, says the right things, then turn into another angry self centred version,scruffy with a glaring expression slumped on the sofa nasty piece of work.

Seriously people have short memories, why don’t they look back over the last (detail removed by Moderator), and see what really happened, open their eyes, as to who has done what, practically, they would see the reality.

I really do not want to have to do this, over money basically.
all I need atm is a letter from a 3rd party to say sort it out, that’s all. I don’t want to have to pay £200 per hour to talk to someone to get me just a letter! I know CAB dont do this or legal centres I’ve been, mediation is totally out, with anyone abusive, they say dont bother..(manipulation & all that)
so it looks like I have to contact him, and I really do not want to do that. I dont know what to say incase I land myself in it, legally. I suppose I’m forced to pay for something I cant afford.

Minefield is right, though I have to do this, he will never come forward, he’s the victim remember.

cx

[Anonymous]

Hi They all play the victim, you are right about not wanting to keep going over it all, that’s the hardest part, but I stumble badly, whenever someone pulls me up & says we’ll in my opinion it wasn’t like that, I honestly feel like exploding & can’t keep quiet, I that way am dragged back into the past again & again!! Why should we be lied about without being able to stand up for ourselves. The other thing is others perspectives, they judge us by their own lives, draw comparisons NOTHING LIKE THEY’RE LIVES Though! They talk about normal relationship breakdowns and Compare it to an abusive relationship breakdown. Thoughts with you Cuppa xx

[Nova]

..agreed BB its never the same…I mean at the end of the day…I would be still with him if he was a nice guy…that’s obvious isn’t it?

would I let him into my life with nothing not a bean, give him my world on a plate…and then say oh no I think after more than (detail removed by Moderator)…I’ll just let all that go!! why would I walk away from a lovely man why?

its like im talking to myself! ha but you know what I mean…I wouildn’t have invested all that time and money and effort and soul, or his wife or his ex with his kids…if he was a good person…it really isn’t that difficult to figure.
hugs
Cx

[Author]

Posts