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I don’t know where to start or what to say. I don’t even know if it is abuse or just a toxic relationship breakdown or if I’m an abuser. When the relationship came to an end it happened abruptly just like the relationship started and I don’t know if it is me just struggling to come to terms with it all. It was everyone else telling me I was unhappy and deserved better but when I ended it it was difficult cos I didn’t have the courage to do it face to face only over the phone while there was distance between us. He asked if I wanted him to stay in the house as a financial arrangement and I instantly said no. He never respected anything about me my boundaries my commitment to him my loyalty to him absolutely nothing. Even on car journeys he wouldn’t let me listen to my choice of station of music he kept putting it on what he wanted. I don’t know if we just quarrelled too much or what. I’m so confused about it all. He had me believing I was claiming benefits while he was here because it was a struggle but it was him and his lies causing the struggle he built up (detail removed by moderator) on his license and said if I didn’t say I was driving in a different part of town where I had never even been he would lose his licence his job and we would lose the house. It wasn’t until after I did the speed awareness course I looked into it more and realised it was a criminal offence and I’m still mortified and ashamed now that I him pressure me and manipulate me onto doing it. I’m so scared
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I wrote my statement out for them. Right from the beginning of the relationship. All the way through. Noting all the things I now felt were wrong. Then let the police decide what was illegal. I’m not a solicitor and I’m not offering you legal advice but I wouldn’t mention the speeding ticket. It’s been dealt with through the courts and there’s no need to bring this up. You’re not lying, your just not mentioning that.
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No I spoke to someone via 101 who put me through to my local force who told me to bring my phone in and not to let it out of my sight she was really nice and said she would book me in for a 2 hour appointment. I was there all of 10 mins this constable didn’t even attempt to look at my phone and said not to sound patronising but you can always get a job you did the right thing ending it with him. More or less told me to grow up and go away. I can’t even leave my house let alone function enough to do anything else. It took me all my strength to go there. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like just giving up altogether. He’s left me with mountains of debt that I was clearing off while working and now he’s f****d my job and head up with another lie and can smugly and arrogantly continue as normal
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