Feeling Trapped

[Sungirl]

So myself and my husband separated (detail removed by moderator), and the first week was tough but I felt like I was starting to put up some boundaries and only communicated with him to arrange child contact. I am still trying to come to terms with whether he was abusive or not. I started a diary and through posting and reading on here was learning more about emotional and psychological abuse tactics, of which I had noticed a lot. Anyway at the weekend my husband took an overdose and tried to commit suicide. He’s never done this before, and did write me a suicide letter. Luckily it didn’t work and now he’s been discharged and fast tracked for mental health support. He’s staying with family. I feel so confused now, still so shocked by what he did, and angry that he is putting me and the kids through this. He said he wants to sort himself out with the aim of us getting back together. I haven’t promised anything and said I need time. He is not contacting me. I’ve started thinking again about all the horrible things he has done, but also I feel concerned for him. My head is all over the place. Can he really change? I’m just feeling so down these last couple
Of days if I didn’t have to get up for the kids I would just stay in bed all day.

 

[Iwantmeback]

Hi, this wasn’t a cry fir help. There’s people with mental health problems who aren’t abusive. They really will do or say ANYTHING to get us back. He probably didn’t take enough to actually have killed himself, thing is he didn’t know if he’d have an allergic reaction to what he took. Don’t be bullied by family and manipulated by him to take him back. It’s great he wants to sort himself out but he will use that as an excuse to get you to take him back.if its meant to be, if his behaviour has been down to MH issues, that’s great. But he would still have to prove himself to you, he can do that by living with family. He’ll also use it as the perfect excuse in the future to be abusive. Blame his behaviour on his medication or whatever, might even stop taking it as he’s cured. Learn the cycle of abuse, know about the FOG of abuse. Im really sorry for you that he’s put you through that. You could still be supporting if you want to, just don’t let him back until you know fir sure one way or another.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[Sungirl]

Yes thanks IWWB I’m so annoyed he has added this to the mix. Yes I’m not going to let me back for sure until I see what’s happening with this therapy and how much he engages and changes. So far he’s being Mr Super nice but let’s see how long that lasts. I just read something interesting about trauma bonding and focusing on the ‘truth’ not the ‘promises’.

[Eggshells]

The title of your post says it all. He’s got you feeling trapped which may have been exactly what he was hoping for.

I wanted to check my facts before I got back to you. Quick research suggests that it’s not particularly common for a man to survive a suicide attempt. They usually mean it and unless they are already taking some sort of drugs they usually choose something more violent and more sure fire than an overdose, which is why they are often successful.

He is an adult and responsible for himself and his own mental health. You are responsible for your mental health and you don’t have to compromise your own mental health for anyone. Whatever he feels are the reasons for his suicide attempt, you are not responsible for putting things right for him. He has to learn to live life on his own two feet, just like you are doing.

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