- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
Apricot.
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17th October 2022 at 3:48 pm #150871
Goldensands
ParticipantI have left him. Lots went on that keep going around my head… lots of name calling, talking to me like dirt, very physical stuff, accusations, having my phone searched all the time, going through all my personal emails and messages from years ago, constant calling me, telling his family about our relationship all the time, blaming me for anything and everything, he was angry a lot. But what keeps going on in my mind the most is when he would kick me out at night with literally nothing, no shoes, no coat, no phone, no purse, take my keys, often after he had beaten me. Utter degradation. I’ve been chased around the streets countless times screaming, knocking on doors for help so he would leave me alone. He puts cameras all outside of the house too so he could watch when I was coming from and going to work and if anyone came to the door.
I’ve been gone a few months now and don’t really have anyone to talk to who I feel would truly understand. -
17th October 2022 at 8:32 pm #150881
Bananaboat
ParticipantHello and welcome. I’m so sorry you’ve had these experiences, how scary at times, but well done for getting out. This forum is very supportive so hopefully it will help
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18th October 2022 at 9:24 pm #150935
Apricot
ParticipantWell done Goldensands! Well done for leaving and well done for staying away. You have been so brave. I am so sorry for what you went through.
Are you getting support? You’ve been through such a traumatic experience, perhaps talking to a counsellor who deals with domestic abuse would help?
I’m only just coming to terms with how much the violence affected me in my relationship. I was living in denial. I had been crushing my feelings and trying to prevent the situation escalating for so long and I didn’t realise. What I think of as the “big events” happened every few months. I was strangled, hit, had my head bashed against a door frame, he chased me in his car, he restrained me to stop me leaving. Horrendous verbal abuse. There were little acts of aggression frequently. Slaps. I think the constant use of guilt and the put downs probably hurt me more than anything else. I lost my sense of self.
It is going to take a long time to recover from all of this. I am looking for support and therapy options for the future. I need that time where I can talk to someone and know that it’s my time for me and my feelings. With an expert.
I would like to find an online support group or something like that as well. Like this forum but more like a Zoom session where women can share their experiences and offer support. If anyone knows of anything like that I would love to know.
Keep posting and sharing Goldensands xx
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