- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 9 months ago by
Iwantmeback.
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20th August 2019 at 9:41 pm #86063
LittleWalker
ParticipantHello. Nearly (detail removed by moderator) years ago I left a relationship where I had no control over any aspect of my life, even my own bank account and bills. I was with him for (detail removed by moderator) years and it’s like he was better at being me than I was as he knows all of my personal details, knew my bank account details but I changed them, he knows my NI number, my close families addresses, etc etc. I left him because I realised if I stayed I would die. I have Crohn’s Disease, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, and potentially ME/CFS. I was so ill that I was in bed for 10 days and a few times I begged for an ambulance but he wouldn’t call one because “I have anxiety, you know I can’t have people in the house”, he didn’t have anxiety, he just used me as a slave to do what he wanted so he had more time to play games. I ended up in hospital for 5 days and for the (detail removed by moderator) years since, I have been on (detail removed by moderator) injections weekly (normal dose is fortnightly but I am too severe) and twice daily chemotherapy tablets. I have to be on these until they no longer work because he wouldn’t let me go to my check ups or get help when I needed it.
This sounds ridiculous and petty but it’s triggered something in me so it is an important bit of information. (detail removed by moderator) I had a text from (detail removed by moderator) with a verification code, I instantly felt dread and knew who it was. The (detail removed by moderator) card was linked to his ebay account so I couldn’t unlink it myself, but the card had years and years worth of points ((detail removed by moderator)) that had built up from when I was with him. The Nectar account has always been in my name so I could spend whatever I wished on it. I went onto the chat and he had ordered a new card, I managed to get a new account made and the measly 300 points transferred (out of pettiness more than anything but now wish I hadn’t done it so he could see there was no longer £(detail removed by moderator) on it). Just now I was curious as to how he could order a new card if he couldn’t log in and it turns out he needed to put my name and DOB in… so isn’t this technically fraud?
Before all this though within months of me leaving him he managed to have my xbox account transferred from MY email address which was all in my name, address, details etc into his own details with a new email address. When I first got wind of him trying to reset my email and xbox password I set up two step verification to stop him having access. Well he still managed it somehow and in the process had my emails blocked forever. I had (detail removed by moderator) years worth of medical stuff in there and other very important emails, all gone.
I’ve even sent Microsoft’s CEO my driving licence, bills, bank card, all with a note with the CEO’s name, that days date and the time to prove who I am but still that wasn’t good enough. Apparently because I set up two step verification I signed a waiver that said if the account gets locked then I can’t get it back for security reasons. My xbox account also had hundreds, if not thousands of games on it which he just took out of thin air even though he is the opposite sex, has a different name, DOB, address etc. Microsoft even confirmed the xbox account was now in someone else’s name and wouldn’t give me the name but confirmed it was him when I gave the name.
Before yesterday I didn’t want to take court action because I didn’t want to face him but yesterday angered me.
I have a CCJ because he hid court letters from me. I have paid several debts off since leaving him that he told me he would deal with. I am still paying two off.
His parents have bought him a car and paid for his lessons but refused to give me money to pay off his half of the bills. So yesterday pushed me over the edge.
Can he be done for fraud for everything he has done? Can I take him to court for his half of the debts I have paid and the ones I am still paying? I don’t have proof of abuse so not sure anything can be done about that.
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21st August 2019 at 7:54 am #86073
KIP.
ParticipantI think you should speak to citizens advice. They have a great knowledge of things like this. You shouldn’t be paying his debt for him. You can also speak to the domestic abuse police for their advice. Financial abuse is a crime. You can report the abuse, make a statement so that his abuse is on record should another woman speak out. Keep all the evidence you have. You might want to ring the helpline number on here for more advice. Some solicitors offer a free initial consultation but involving a solicitor is expensive. There also the small claims court you can do that yourself and take him to court to retrieve some of your money. Have a look at that too. You need to weigh up the stress involved in doing all this as the last thing you need is to make your health worse x
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21st August 2019 at 8:32 am #86076
Iwantmeback
ParticipantHi there, i too have recently received verification emails from Google recently as my email was a secondary email for security reasons. I wrnt into Google and removed my email. Whether he’s changed his password or not i don’t care. I’ve only recently changed my (detail removed by moderator) account as i used to give him my old phones when i got a new one when contract ran out. He was turning up in shop car parks saying he was taking the dog a walk, places he never went yet there he was. Financial/fraud comes in all guises, contact your MP or MSP if in Scotland. There are cross party groups set up that are in the process of making new laws. Including google, phone companies is a priority I would think.
I have a note book, that I keep all mine and his passwords in, I think I’ve changed most of mine. Take control and change yours now and drfinately take advice from citizens advice too. topIc you have a joint bank account/mortgage inform the bank and mortgage lender that you are separated and be sure to mention it’s through domestic abuse. That way it protects you from him taking out any future loans without your permission or selling the property.
Best wishes
IWMB 💞💞
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