Flashbacks and night fighting

[Escapedbuthaunted]

Hi
I escaped a few years ago and suffered really bad flashbacks and night fighting until I staggered councilling last year, it’s helped but this time of tear was when the worst happened and the flashback and waking dreams are really getting to me atm just when thinking recovering well and making headway towards being freer to live life again. It’s effecting my mood a lot, I’ve got fresh bruises where I’ve knocked myself in my sleep and find myself wanting to hide away what do any of u do that helps when going through these sorts of periods of time?

[Lisa]

Hello Escapedbuthaunted,

Welcome to the forum! I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be.

Thank you for your brave and honest post. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed and unsettled at the moment. Your situation sounds very normal, sometimes it is only after we feel safe that we start to process what we have lived through and endured. While you were in the relationship you would have been on survival mode and you may have been really skilled at minimising what you were experiencing for your own sanity. Now you are out of the relationship your body and mind feel safe to process what you went through.

Well done for acknowledging how you are feeling. I hope you can take a moment to think about how far you have come and to be proud of yourself. It might also be a good idea to reach out to your local Women’s Aid group and perhaps even speak to your GP about some trauma counselling/specialist domestic abuse counselling.

We are all here for you so please keep posting.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[freedomtochoose]

Hello there, welcome to forum also.
Would go with what Lisa said about processing. It takes time.

I can only share a few things that helped me with nightmares/flashbacks especially at night.
I am not at all offended if they don’t work for you.

Firstly, self-compassion and self-compassion meditations. Like the Buddhist one on the Well of Grief by Tara Brach.

Secondly, a dream journal. NO matter hwo scary the dreams may be, for me at least writing them down made them less so.

Thirdly if you are struggling, and it is the middle of the night and you can’t phone anyone, please remember Samaraitanss free helpline on 116 123. AT night they don’t have so many volunteers but they have bene helpful on occasion when I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else.

Keep posting and thinking of you, one thing I try is to thank my own brain for working things out and try to look after yourself,

Sounds like you are showing immense courage, these are difficult things indeed
you are not alone
all best
ftc
x

[Ayanna]

I have lots of flashbacks and as I have spoken about some very traumatic events at length in therapy recently, the flashbacks became intense and more frightening.
I make sure I have soft pillows at hand and warm blankets to wrap me in. That helps me to feel safe.
I get up from where I am and walk a few steps to take me away from the spot where I had the flashbacks.
I do something to ground me, like smelling on a bottle of perfume or massaging my face, drinking hot tea, turning on the TV or radio, checking the messages on my phone…..
I find facebook really helpful recently, as I have friends all over the world and somewhere else it is morning or a good time to talk and we can chat smalltalk about anything.

[Escapedbuthaunted]

Thanks for the welcome and words of advice
I have had some specialist counselling via a local charity over the last year so that has helped to a certain extent but feels a bit like she is peeling an onion with lots of layers which only touched surface on some of the issues as I’ve struggled to explain 1 what has happened and 2 explain my feelings. It’s like saying out loud brings it all back and it gets stuck in my head.
Regards a dream journal I did manage to write about the last waking dream I had it’s still haunting me over a week later flashbacks during the day. I have pebbles I carry around as a grounding item and music is what I use when really bad.
Tiredness is worse tho as am afraid to go to sleep after I’ve had a particularly bad night in case I dream it again sheer exhaustion normally takes over eventually. My cat is my main grounding item a home tho her purring calms me down.
Thx again am glad I found this forum

[Author]

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