Fuming!

[I.dont.know.]

So my partner of whom I currently have doubts (detail removed by Moderator) ago was really upset because his oldest daughter had called his youngest daughter (detail removed by Moderator) and he made a massive deal out of it and said his oldest had spoken to him in should a bad attitude. I did say well maybe shes copying how you spoke to her mother (detail removed by Moderator) ago ( apparently they had a big arrangement (detail removed by Moderator) ago) they have been separated (detail removed by Moderator) years but see each daily when collecting the kids etc.

When I said that he just sent a txt back saying (detail removed by Moderator)!

Fast forward (detail removed by Moderator) to him been at my house my son pinched some food off his plate and he called my son (detail removed by Moderator)!! I was absolutely disgusted I did call him out on it. He of course said sorry and then (detail removed by Moderator) later he’s trying to buy me clothes in the sale!

Are my kids just not as important as his? Does he have no respect for them?

Are all men just the same or I just pick the same type ????

[Lisa]

Hi I.dont.know,

Thank you for posting. I am sorry to hear about how your partner treated your son, it sounds upsetting for you and your son. Trust your instincts with your doubts and concerns, if it doesn’t feel right then it usually isn’t. If you would like some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (open every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Keep posting when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Bananaboat]

Lundy Bancroft’s book has a chapter from memory about how abusers use the kids, I remember things like selective treatment ringing a bell with me. Mine always treated my eldest (not his) hot & cold, and as soon as his child was around it was like my eldest wasn’t important, but once they’d gone home he couldn’t do enough for mine. They also do this to harbour you having bad feelings towards other kids/ex’s and make you into the bad guy. As lisa said, trust your gut, kids come first xx

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, a few things stood out in your post. One was how he tried to buy you clothes ìn the sales. This is just his way of literally trying to buy your forgiveness. My ex did the same every time we’d have an argument or more during the week, come the weekend we’d go to some shopping mall or another and he’d spend like it was going out of fashion. Took a while for it to sink in what he was doing, and when I started to say no thanks, I don’t see anything that’s when he’d get angry cos then he knew he couldn’t win me over that way anymore. As to the children, yours are definitely not as important as his, and at some stage he’ll get a buzz out of seeing any animosity grow between them all, though his are only important when he’s trying to get something over on his ex or to triangulate you with with his children or his ex.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[Author]

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