Going backwards

[BarbaraFrances]

Ugh I feel like I am going backwards. I felt strong and empowered that the police took action and took me seriously: I felt free for the first time in ages but now I’m having nightmares… I miss him… I hate the uncertainty of the police action and I just want it all to go away and be over and done with. I wish I could make him see what he has done to me. This is just not me at all. Sorry for the self pity 🙁 I’m feeling really sad. I feel like it’s my fault because I didn’t do enough to help him

[Lisa]

Hi BarbaraFrances

I just wanted to show you some support. I am relieved to hear that the police are taking everything seriously. It is completely normal to miss him and to be having these feelings.

It is not your fault at all, it was never up to you to help him. He should have helped himself and took responsibility for his actions and how it’s made you feel.

Stay strong and keep posting on the forum for support,

Lisa

[Helphelphelp]

Hey Barbarafrances
Please don’t feel as you do, keep reminding yourself of why you called the police in the first place, think about what a kind loving person you are, Then ask yourself would you have called them for any other reason apart from because you couldn’t cope any longer with what was happening. I guarantee it was the last thing you wanted, I guarantee you didn’t do it to be spiteful, I guarantee you wish you didn’t have to have done that. But above ALL I guarantee you had to, for your body or your mind. The problem is after the event you have time to think and we feel sad, want them, don’t want them feeling we don’t love them, That’s because we’re loving people, but remember he didn’t call police and that’s because you did nothing wrong. You can’t help someone who can’t see they are wrong. I’m going through a similar thing. And have to remind myself of all the above daily. If we had a chance to make it all perfect we would but it’s never going to happen. It’s all about remembering what they did WRONG not the nice bits. REMEMBER why it happened. Easy to say to someone else but just so you know and don’t feel alone, I’m feeling the same as you, so much love to you. X

[Eggshells]

Hi BarbaraFrances,

There’s nothing more that I can add but just wanted to show some support.

As Lisa said, it is really normal to have all of your jumbled up feelings and it can make life really hard at times.

Do you have a keyworker?

[BarbaraFrances]

Thanks guys. I have support from victim support at the moment which has been really helpful.

It’s weird because he can’t get to me right now and I feel ‘lost’. I’m constantly wondering what he’s thinking, what he is planning for when he can get to me again, does he hate me, is he angry, is he still obsessed. It feels so uncertain and I feel like he’s going to be able to get to me at some point in the future and I won’t know when. Or no one will tell me when he can and I won’t expect it

[Lotus20]

Hi BarbaraFrances,

I would like to give you some support and say that firstly you’re not alone and I found women here being so amazing and supportive. But also to move on to find your own self back think about the time that you were so happy without him, perhaps had a life and lots of friends and hobbies. That’s a good start to try and find yourself back. May be difficult at first as we are changed so mucb by the abuse that we are gone under, but I’m sure it’s within you and in you.

I hope you get through this feelings soon.

[Author]

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