GP contact

[Spiderweb]

Hi Ladies,

I was thinking about speaking to my GP but how do I do that? I can’t just tell them that my husband has been abusing me, can I? We also have the same GP so they know him well and for them, as for the whole outside world, he is a picture perfect.
Can anyone please give me some advice on how to start that conversation with GP?
Thank you xx

[Eggshells]

I went along to my GP ostensibly to discuss depression and anxiety. As part of the conversation I told him about the abuse.

The GP made notes about the abuse I had revealed then told me he’d have to refer it to the practice safeguarding lead. I was horrified as my ex and I both had professional ties to the safeguarding lead.

Like your partner, my ex presents himself brilliantly to the outside world and I wasn’t sure if I would be believed by the safeguarding lead. All I can say is that she cut her professional ties with my ex. That suggests to me that she believed me despite the image he presents.

I hope this helps a little. xx

[Spiderweb]

Hi Eggshells,

Thank you for your response. My problem also is if I go to GP, he will come with me – he doesn’t let me go alone anywhere 🙁
Even if GP will believe me and cut her ties with him, and he will find out, it will not be good for me. I was thinking if there is a way to ask them to keep it confidential and not refer me anywhere? More for the record in case I need proof later on?

[hopefortomorrow]

Hi Spiderweb, Eggshells gave some very good advice already. I contacted my GP and she was very supportive and seem to be very knowledgeable about this topic. She is why I contacted WA. I believe GP’s are getting a lot of these calls nowadays. Try and make the call when your husband steps out or when you go for a walk or something. You have to be discreet, find creative ways to do it, especially if you feel you may be in danger.

Take care x

[Spiderweb]

Hi Hopefortomorrow,

Thank you for your advice. I have been thinking of the ways to do it for a few days now. I feel like I am finding excuses for not doing it as I am so afraid to tell anyone that knows me personally and knows him of what’s been happening.
I am sorry if it feels like I am not taking advices, I do and it helps me think as well so thank you all lovely ladies for your responses.

[hopefortomorrow]

Hi Spiderweb,

No problem, I completely understand as I have been in a similar predicament. For me it felt like I was going behind my partners back and I felt really bad the first time I called the GP, it was scary and I felt a lot of guilt. It took me years to finally tell some of my close family what is really going on because I did not want to rock the boat. Now that I finally took steps to open up, I am starting to feel better, like I am taking charge of my life again. I always hope things would get better and maybe my partner will change but the day he called me some very disturbing names is the day our relationship died, I realised he had lost all respect for me and there is no going back from that. Next would be physical harm.
So I had did really deep and pluck up the bit of courage I had to make the first phone call and after that so many doors started opening. Sorry for the long rant, just thought I would share with you in the hopes it encourages you. You are stronger than you think, you can do it.
hugs

[ISOPeace]

That is a difficult situation Spiderweb. Have you contacted Women’s Aid of the National Domestic Abuse Helpline? I think contact with either of them can be used as evidence and you can contact Women’s Aid through live chat, so that might be more accessible for you. I wonder whether you could email your GP? xxxx

[Spiderweb]

Hi ISOPeace,

Thank you for your response. I haven’t contacted Womans Aid yet, I tried several times and hang up before the call reached 🙁 Just shows how weak I am …… Unfortunately, there is no option to email my GP in the practice and before I can get a call with her, I should fill in the form online to state the reason for the call and then they will respond giving time slot (am or pm) when GP will call back so I cannot control the call time even if I ask for a specific time…. They may call when he is around and then I won’t be able to talk openly….

[Eggshells]

Hi Spiderweb,

I agree with ISOPeace, try emailing. In the email you can ask your GP to specify that you go in alone due to Covid measures.

Your GP has to keep it confidential unless they feel that you are at significant risk.

[seekingfurther]

Dear Spiderweb,

Search for your GP online, they may have an e-mail address listed somewhere, especially now with the pandemic. They should be able to be flexible, I’d imagine, in a situation like this. I can book consultations with my GP through an app called “My GP”, is your GP signed up to it too? I think an awful lot are these days.

Anyway, I opened up to my GP around a year ago when I asked to be signed off sick. At the time my partner was also registered at the same GP, but I don’t see why that would matter (confidentiality and all that). The GP was quite helpful, signposted me and asked if I needed any support. They didn’t make any referrals and I don’t see they would need to unless you have children and there are safeguarding concerns. Even if they do it is safeguarding, as in there are there to safeguard YOU and your family. You may find it is a positive thing and the fact they you are actively trying to leave will only be of benefit.

I’m sure they know things are never what they seem and whatever picture he paints is only that, a picture.

[Spiderweb]

Thank you all ladies for the advice, it is much appreciated xx
It has been a bit of time now since the last occurrence and he is acting as “normal” and being all nice with me so I am quite confused now what to do but your all replied are very much appreciated and helpful and I have now few options to consider xx

[Eggshells]

Please Google the cycle of abuse. This is just the honeymoon stage. He will abusive again unfortunately. I would recommend that you still let your GP know.

[Author]

Posts