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Hi everyone.
I have been quite good for the last couple of weeks. I am newly married and I am seperated. Living somewhere else. I have stopped feeling guilty lately but today is his important (detail removed by Moderator) birthday. I told him I would go over to our house and go to a restaurant with him and his mum. He was angry at me because I wouldnt stay over. Hes recently promised to get help and excpects I will move back in soon. Because of the argument I havnt moved from the couch. I just feel so guilty and sad. I feel so sorry for him and I dont want him to have a terrible birthday. I hate inflicting this on someone. I feel so anxious
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Hi, I think you need to get rid of your guilty feelings.
You have not done anything wrong.
Well done for separating.
If he misbehaves you are in your right to show him the limitations. You are doing really well.
Why would you even want to do him any favours?
Put yourself first, start a new life and divorce him as soon as the marriage is a year old.I am so glad you get out early. I cannot repeat enough how impressed I am.
Keep posting here! You have no reason to feel guilty for anything!
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Thank you so much for your reply. Its so amazing to hear that you are impressed that I left as I have been encouraged by everyone to try and make it work. ‘you have to work at marriage blah blah blah’. I really did marry for life. He never hit me but I was shoved and the night I left he trashed the house and threw bits of chair at me. I just cant go back. So embarrassing having a marriage last less time than (detail removed by Moderator)! He is also trying to tempt me by saying he’ll buy my dream house. He does not accept it is over and to be honest I havnt told him it is. I was hoping for weeks on end he could be sorry and get help but now I dont think that will ever happen. Thank you so much for your reply. I needed to be told not to feel guilty. Its hard after I have cared about him so much for years x
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Speak to Women’s Aid and go to the Freedom Programme.
That will make you stronger.Never stay with a violent man. It starts with objects and then it will be you. I was nearly killed because I stayed too long.
He will never admit that he was wrong. He will never admit that he was abusive. He will always believe that he is perfect. Abusers are just like that and nothing can change them. All promises and acted apologies just fulfill the purpose of getting control back again.
Do not fall for any of his tricks.
Make your new life, free from abuse!
Well done!Keep posting here!
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