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Morning ladies, I just want to say thanks to each of you, this group has helped me in so many ways, I’ve been struggling day after day, but today I’ve woke up feeling different, feeling fresh, feeling hopeful, I’m sick of living In such a toxic way that every aspect of my day was about him, asking why, asking myself did he love me, why why why, and it doesn’t matter how much we rack our brains or try to understand we never will, I need to accept that, the amount of sleep I’ve lost the tears I’ve shed, and the days when I wanted to never wake up,for someone who has no empathy or compassion towards me, that’s now how u treat a human being is it, use them, abuse them make them feel so little and worthless, and keep on grinding them down, it’s not nice, I feel I was stuck to him, like that drug addicted feeling, I’m glad we had that contact and we slept together after weeks of being gaslighted, for him then to use me and discard again leaving me with all that doubt, that insecure feelings, it’s not me, it’s him, he’s rotten to the core! Im finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel, had my blips along the way but I think I’m accepting the trauma bond is lifting and setting me free ❤️
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Hi beautiful Angel…
I am so glad you have woken up with a different mind set
It is complete wasted energy focusing on these men that could be better spent focusing on yourself
All that love, time and energy you had for him and didn’t know what to do with as he would not receive it, give it now to someone who deserves it … YOU!
Whist you focus on someone or something else the focus comes away from you and you lose your place in the race …stay looking forward
Stay focused and connected on you … yes its a daily practice and you are going to have difficult days but nothing is as difficult as living with an abuser
I think with my ex, that there was only 2 people in the room when the abuse happened … me and him and we both know the truth
I don’t care what he tells people about me, if he can put his head on the pillow at night and sleep easy then that’s OK with me … only God will judge him
The world is round and what goes around comes around in one way or another
Keep on the path you are now on my darling … well done
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx -
I love this what an amazing feeling that must be freeing even. Hold on to that feeling and help it grow. Its your time now to heal grow and live. Sending you lots love.
@Darcy “but nothing is as difficult as living with an abuser” this has hit me today I dont know why but these words of yours got me and has really made me think this morning Thank you x-
Its true, if you can live with an abuser you are so much stronger than you are giving yourself credit for
I always think nothing is as bad as living with an abuser and when women say they are scared to leave I think it is also worth thinking that it is also scary to stay so which would be the worst kind of scary xx -
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That is why you have to work on yourself first… getting up and just leaving is a way too big step to think about but once you begin to work on yourself, strengthen your boundaries, then the thought of leaving will become more achievable
It doesn’t happen over night, it takes time and effort and a willingness to leave… we have to take some of the responsibility too and look at how we can change things
But this all starts with getting yourself strong from the inside out so you are grounded and focused and wont be swayed like a little seedling, we need to get strong like the deep rooted oak tree“Change occurs when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing”
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We have to be our own heroes right?
I have some work to do I know that and I am trying, its so hard to build yourself up when they just knock you straight back down but I guess we need to stop listening to them and start listening to ourselves. Thank you @Darcy, Thank you xxxxxx -
Small steps my angel, and don’t be so hard on yourself
Of course there will be challenges and set backs but where ever you can from now on start to reinforce the positives however little or insignificant you think they are they all add up and get some empowering affirmations going round and round in your head
I believe ino uxx -
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It’s lovely to read that you are feeling more positive today. It’s funny how we can wake up one day feeling ‘different’ and having that clarity that we desperately need.
Giving our abusers that ‘one more chance’ to prove to us that they have changed is often that ‘one more chance’ that we need to put ourselves through as proof that they won’t. It’s like picking at a scab. We all know we shouldn’t as the wound will never heal; the scar will be a bit deeper, but we pick it nonetheless. Sometimes we leave it alone until it’s really, really tiny, then we have to pick that last bit, only to be left with a mark again that will take a bit longer to fade, and we then think “d**n, if only I hadn’t picked it, why couldn’t I just leave that last bit!”
Your ex has gone all out to get you back where he wants you for the purpose of discarding you. Whilst you were staying strong and ignoring him he was the discarded one. That really grates on an abuser’s ego. They do not like to be discarded, they are the ones who are in control and are the ones who decide when a relationship is ‘done with’, not us.
Today you have woken up understanding his game. His feelings, his intentions, his words, they’re all a lie, they’re all part of a game that gives him power and feeds his ego and his self importance. These abusers all have low self esteem and low confidence issues (and they’re not things we should or can fix). Happy, secure, confident people do not go round abusing people, being cruel to people, hurting people, upsetting people. Abusers are bullies who see wrong in everyone but themselves. You are so much better off without this man in your life whose aim is to bring you down and make you miserable.
I hope you have a great week ahead 🙂
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