Has anyone?

[nbumblebee]

Hi,
Has anyone heard of rumination?
Someone who knows my story sent me a link to someone talking about rumination. How sometimes people can talk too much about their problems. This has made me doubt myself. This person is someone who is helping me through this but now im thinking that they have had enough of me. I do talk alot and moan alot and ask alot of questions I do suffer from anxiety and I do sometimes actually who am i kidding i think i am very dramatic and self obsessed and i do constantly think about my past about my now i always worry i always feel full of guilt of hate of complete sadness maybe I am making all this worse for myself.
I just wondered if anyone else had heard of it and what your thoughts are.
Thank you xxxxxx

[Findinghope]

Hi,
I haven’t heard of this but just wanted to reply- I hope you’re okay xx
I have had similar when I have spoken to work colleagues- one of them once said- ‘don’t share your personal business too much’… and that made me feel so confused.. and now I struggle to completely open up- even to people I trust just because I might be ‘sharing too much’ 🙁

[nbumblebee]

Thank you. This person is a professional so should I thought be different. It really made me feel like I was am just an attention seeker it was such a blow. Xx

[Marmalade]

Rumination has been mentioned to me during therapy. It wasnt talking to other people about problems, so much as going over and over past events in your own head. In other words being caught in a memory and going over and over it, looking at it from every angle. I was told it was harmful as traps you obsessively in the past and it is a downward spiral. I was given techniques to concentrate my mind on something else to distract myself.
As far as discussing issues with other people is concerned, in my experience most people will tire of listening eventually, some sooner, some later, particularly if they have not experienced DA themselves as they struggle to understand the dynamic.

[nbumblebee]

Thank you this makes sense now. I think I may have misunderstood i thought maybe this person was being mean but now you have explained it actually it makes sense. Thank you so much.

[Stargazing1]

I think I’m the same with rumination unfortunately @nbumblebee . I bet your nothing as bad as me though. I do get a feeling like no one is allowed to say how they feel in life and that doesn’t seem fair to anyone who may have dealings with such issues.

[Stargazing1]

I hope you didn’t mind me posting here @nbumblebee . I know how useless I am .

[ocean20]

I have been listening to podcasts lately on these topics and CPTSD came up. Apparently a lot of us DA survivors have it. It’s more to do with long sustained trauma (rather than one event).
It mentioned that talking therapy is great but it only accesses the conscious part of our brain. But memories (including traumatic ones) are stored in the subconscious and this is where we can get stuck. She touched on that some DA survivors have talking therapy for decades and still feel stuck in their past feelings.
She mentions a few therapies which can really help our body recover from the trauma (her name is Caroline Strawson).
I’ve deviated a little but I don’t think your friend is being mean or that you’re over sharing x I think they mean well in that keep talking about it keeps you stuck there x
X*x sending love & support

[swanlake]

My understanding of rumination is that it’s to do with thoughts dwelling on the past, which cannot be changed.
When you’re experiencing abuse right now, it’s understandable that you might feel that you’re talking a lot. You have a lot going on and plenty to talk about.
I was dismissed by my own family and had my self esteem crushed in childhood. So now I try to listen to people and give them the attention that they deserve x

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