Has anyone stayed locally?

[Newboundaries]

Hey. the place I want to go to is harder than I thought, big wait list etc. I can get a loan for a deposit privately but then it is hard to find someone who takes benefits.
I didn’t want to go down the refuge route because of the amount of time I will be away for and the fact I will always be looking over my shoulder for my ex or his mates.

So I am trying to find a home locally with a housing officer and once found get a contact order and just hide until the court hearing.And then stay in the area until all the court process is complete and I can get some money together to move to the place I really want to go to.

I know it is advised to move out of your area but has anyone stayed? There are of course other parts of the county to go to with my little one but its like closing my eyes and randomly picking somewhere I don’t want to go.

I want to get out this month really as I am just getting so stressed with the control and concerned that it may affect the little one soon.

[Eggshells]

I stayed locally to keep my job but as that meant working with him, it was a big mistake.

Outside of the workplace I was constantly fearful that I would bump into him somewhere.

Once I’d left the PTSD kicked in and I am now terrified whenever I see him. Once you’ve left, your guard comes down. Unfortunately, that makes you feel so much more vulnerable.

[Newboundaries]

Thanks eggshells for your honesty. Its a tricky one. I think it will be determined on what comes up first really. My priority now is just getting out into my own place with my little one and hopefully this month. At the moment locally has better options but not given up on my other destination, something might turn up out of the blue. Luckily I don’t need to work with him just need to see him with child contact. That must be so hard for you. I can imagine the vulnerability you get so focused on getting out safely there will be a crash and burn once you’re out

[Scottish Thistle]

Ive stayed local, did think about moving but why should i be the one to move? I upheavaled my life already for him by leaving. To be honest i never used to see him about as my day job wasn’t in town and i was working another job at nights. Its only been since lockdown and furloughed from my evening job that i have seen him more while out walking etc the first time i seen his car i actually stopped dead with palpitations, he has since tried to intimidate me each time i see him. Although i still get palpitations when i see him passing in the car i continue to walk with my head held high and carry straight on.

[Newboundaries]

Thanks ScottishThistle. Good to know and well done you for keeping strong. I think the same why should I drastically change my life when all I want to do is move out with my little one and move on with life. He isn’t going to make it easy for me when we see each other but I think over time it will be easier anything is better than being under the same roof as him

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