Having trouble dealing with problems

[teatime]

Earlier this year I lost my home and job under quite miserable circumstances and had to start again. I’m not young and I have a chronic illness and a disability.
We are renting a flat and I am finding having people round me makes me nervous.
This was made worse recently by a neighbour having noisy sex . It really upset me and I banged a few doors.
Since then she has obviously looking for something to complain about and complained about my pots dripping on her patio. ( they were I agree but I soon rectified it). But she complained to the agent and lied saying there was an injury deriving from the water.
I have had to get rid of my plants of which I only had a few because I am so worried they may drip again. I am upset about this as they provided a bit of a privacy screen. I can’t stand the sound of her voice now, it makes me feel physically sick. She makes such a racket yapping outside and showing off on the phone when she comes home. Furthermore I hear her shout at her child.
I just feel trouble follows me around and I am a nervous wreck, I just want peace. We chose this place because we thought it would be peaceful. I’ve survived two abusive relationships and have PTSD. ( I believe I have anyway)

[Lisa]

Hi teatime

Just wanted to show you some support. After surviving two abusive relationships you are probably right about the PTSD and any kind of unkind behaviour or shouting can be really triggering.
You have done really well to get yourself into new accommodation and i’m sorry the neighbour is making life hard.

We are here for you

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[diymum@1]

i find sometimes in dealing with people i can over react- as in im very sensitive. were on guard tho naturally after what weve experienced. come hell or high water were not going to have that happen again. i think this is a natural way to feel. i hate hearing couples argueing and my neighbour does that alot he also screams out sometimes and its random and late into the night. it leaves me unable to sleep again and i freeze. i also have an irrational urge to help a woman if i see a man being horrible to her. i think thats why i need reassurance now before i deal with a situation that means confronting someone. i tend to go to the extreme either freeze or over react xxxx

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi teatime
I am sorry you went through so much, the very least you expect after all this adversity is to be able to relax in your own home.
I would suggest you put your plants right back where you want them to be, your well-being is much more important than the caprices of your attention seeking neighbour. If she complains, you complain right back about her being loud and making alot of noise which can be a nuisance for other neighbours too. Don’t complain to her but go directly to your real estate agent. No-one messes with you!

Try to ignore her, be boring (with just her), don’t show any emotions to anything she does, use grey rock with such needy people.

Can you consult your GP about your PTSD which you most probably do suffer from?
To help you deal with the high anxiety there are ways to reduce it so you’ll feel better.

Sending you peaceful time in your home.

[Author]

Posts