He knows that I reported him to the police

[Indiansummer]

My ex partner finally knows that I reported him to the police. He came today to my house uninvited, demanding to see our children. I didn’t answer the door and called the police.
In the end he left before they arrived, but he actually went to our local police helpdesk to try to report me for not seeing them.. Anyway, I told him then over the phone that I had previously reported the emotional abuse and verbal threats he made.

Now I am wondering whether his behaviour will be different, will this trigger more abuse ? Immediately after finding out he threatened me with social services and courts over the children. He also wrote me a message saying that I betrayed him and our marriage vows by doing this ..

[maddog]

He has already betrayed your marriage vows. That is on his rap sheet, not yours. My husband threatened to tell social services all about me. I don’t know if he knows that SS are already involved with the family. I have not told him that he has been under investigation by the police and nor have they informed him. I told the police that if he knew, the family and I would be in greater danger. What t***s these men are.
My husband also blamed me for his petitioning me for divorce. So it goes on.

[Indiansummer]

That’s exactly how I feel – that he’d betrayed them by abusing me on and on..
and i also tried to tell him that social services already know about us and our children but I believe he’s not thinking straight any more

are you still in the process of divorcing?

[KIP.]

Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice. I would get a civil restraining order forbidding him from coming near you or contacting you. Yes, mine too threatened reporting me. I had a mental illness, depression that he caused. He threatened to report me. I had doctors diagnoses for years. Keep all evidence. Texts etc. But his abuse will escalate so protect yourself and your children x

[Indiansummer]

You are so right, KIP. Someone was trying to break into my house today and I have all reasons to be sure it was my ex, since I wouldn’t come to see him today with our children.
He also believed that I’m having an “affair”
The violence is escalating, so definitely will be getting legal advice

[KIP.]

Please ring 999 if he turns up and ring 101 and ask for the Domestic Abuse police. They can visit him and warn him off. There are new harassment laws to keep him away. Never underestimate these men. Report the attempted break in too. I was accused of affair too when it was actually him. Stay strong. Make sure doors are locked tightly. Have a safe room somewhere you can block the door. Mine was the small upstairs bathroom. I even moved the wheelie bins underneath in case I had to jump out. Women’s Aid and Victim Support can help with security too x

[Indiansummer]

I did ring 999 today, but unfortunately there was no hard evidence it was my ex – I didn’t see or hear him.. but I am happy it’s happened because I know better now to never take my guard down and be very cautious of this man
Thanks for your advice xx
I will improve my safety plan: get a peephole and install additional latch on the door

[Confused123]

hey hun

could u get a non mol in place to protect yourself against him.log all the harrassment . dont listen to none of the rubbish that u are to blame, they blame us for everything and well they cant help saying we are sleeping around that must be all of their favourite lines

[Indiansummer]

Hi,

I am actually thinking of getting an injunction of some sort. Do you know by any chance if a non-molestation injunction includes a restriction from coming to my house?
Thank you x

[KIP.]

Ring Rights for Women who offer free legal advice. There are various civil orders and you can request different restrictions. I think the first stop should be the police. Ring 101 and speak to the domestic abuse police. You can ring the helpline number on here too. I had an exclusion order on my home which came with a power of arrest. (detail removed by Moderator) However there are new harassment and stalking laws that the police might be able to use to keep him away. Civil court is confrontation and can be expensive so keep asking what is available.

[Indiansummer]

Thank you, KIP

I feel like even though I don’t live with my husband any more, it’s still going to be a slow process putting clear boundaries in place and protecting myself from him.

He now started saying he’s prepared to do all sorts of counselling and therapy to get me back. He asks me to come to his doctor with him .. it’s just one big madness, which I feel trapped in because we have children together and I would hope he gets better for their sake.

[KIP.]

Please go total no contact with him. Get some legal advice about access. Don’t believe he has his children’s interest at heart. All he will do is twist and manipulate using them to get back at you. He showed this by reporting you to the police. Things are never going to get better and he is not your responsibility. You need some legal advice. Contact your local women’s aid to find a good family solicitor. Most offer free initial advice but I really think you need something legal in place. Access can be via a third party. Contact brings manipulation and mind games x

[Author]

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