He won’t leave my house

[Eyesopen]

Hi all, I’m new here.
I have been in a very subtle emotionally abusive relationship for a number of years and have recently filed for divorce. We have been married (timeframe removed by Moderator) yrs.
He will not leave my house – and it is in my sole name and I bought it (timeframe removed by Moderator) years ago.
His behaviour used to be very unpredictable with days, weeks or months between his rages (over the smallest of things). Enough was enough when, after an argument between him, myself and my daughter, resulted in her self harming.
I have been signed off work with stress and I am now taking anti-anxiety medication.
I have asked him again (timeframe removed by Moderator) to leave the house (which he contributes a very minimal financial amount) and he is refusing. As far as I am aware, I am not allowed legally to change the locks and evict him because it is the marital home and he has rights.

I feel so stuck. I am on edge every time he comes home and so is my daughter (my daughter is an adult by the way). I can’t seem to make him realise the impact he is having and he tells me he is stressed too – so why wouldn’t he want to move out to make that better for both of us.

Since I asked for the divorce, he has told me that I need to give him (amount removed by Moderator) to ‘just walk away’ OR he’ll take me to court for half of everything.
I’m scared I’m going to lose my home.

I have found out lots of other things about our early relationship which explains the red flags I had early on – but he knew what he was doing from the moment he met me. I feel so stupid.

I’m not sure what I’m asking for from the group but it feels good to get it off my chest x

[Marmalade]

Hi see a solicitor who specialises in family law to give you some advice.

On a divorce it doesn’t matter who owns what or how long they own it. In particular the matrimonial home is considered such an important asset that the courts don’t generally put much weight on who legally owns it. The starting point for separating finances on divorce is 50/50. You have had a relatively short marriage so speak to a solicitor to see if that will help you keep more than 50% and how much he will get on the divorce. Be aware that if you lived together before marriage this may also count as time together for the court.

You are right that he has occupation rights in the house and you cannot change the locks.

Some solicitors will offer the first 30 minutes free so make sure you have lists of all the finances to make best use of the time.
You can also try Rights of Women family law helpline. They are only open limited hours and it’s hard to get through but they are very useful so it’s worth keeping on trying.

It’s very hard living in the same house pending divorce. Lots of women on this forum have gone through this. Good luck dealing with it all.

[Author]

Posts