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Picture a mature woman, now very happily remarried, but inside I carried a mixture of anger, guilt, sadness, self pity… you name it, I probably felt it. It came to the point where I was having flashbacks, so real that their repercussions were affecting my current partner, so I reached out to Women’s Aid and am currently working on their “Freedom Programme”. Its been an eye opener, especially when I realised that I was a “child of a maternal dominator” brought up in the 50s, when little girls were expected to be seen, but not heard and the main aim of my life was to marry and have children. Actually, I failed in the last aim, escaping when I was (detail removed by moderator) but only to marry a “Dominator”! It took me (detail removed by moderator) years of repression and acting as collateral for his sexual adventures, before I escaped again. What’s done is done, but at least I am beginning to understand more, even finding mitigating factors for both the “Doms” in my life and at some point may be able to forgive. However I now have a driving urge to protect and educate the “children of dominators” and partners of dominators by supporting organisations like Women’s Aid. Thank you for reading this.
(and breathe…. as I press “submit” & go public.) -
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Hey well done and welcome.
Its so hard to go back and remember abuse once hidden but i believe much needed in order to heal.
I came here looking for validation I guess that my marriage of over (detail removed by moderator) was actually to a mean nasty man Im still here with him working my way through this trying to make it work even through his nastyness but in doing so i have also opened up about childhood abuse early adult rape and am now working on those too with a counsellor in order to try and gain strength gain confidence in myself so I can face the here and now. Its not easy is it.
A huge well done to you for reaching out takes courage that. Xxxx -
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