Hello. New here. Gave up

[Cherryelephant]

Hello. I’ve joined here because I’ve given up believing things will change (I’m sure most of you can relate). There’s only been one instance of physical abuse, years ago (still too many) but there’s plenty mental. I keep thinking it’s in the past and he’s made effort to change but it turns out there was just a big gap. I bottle everything up because it’ll be an argument and he’ll give me abuse or threaten to take our child if he gets upset. He’s lied to me about two different things but I’m too scared to confront him about either because somehow I’ll end up being shouted at for something. I think he’s subscribed to someone’s onlyfans, but I can’t prove that. I’m just here to let it out when I need to. There’s nobody I can talk to in real life

[Lisa]

Hi Cherryelephant,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (open every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Anonymous]

Cherryelephant, welcome and hello! Well done for posting. Probably like so many women on here, I can relate so much to what you’ve posted. You are not alone.

I would definitely recommend talking to womens aid on the chat like Lisa said. How you’re feeling is not your fault, this man is wrong to make you feel like this. He should be taking accountability for how he’s made you feel and you should be able to talk to him about what he’s done wrong. These men dont change, they act like they do for a short while but ultimately their words dont align with theor actions.

I had suspicions about my ex, a gut feeling, an intuition, like you said about the onlyfans, and it turned out to be true. Trust your instincts. They isolate us to make us feel it is our fault, turn it back on us, condition us to stop trusting ourselves but from what you say I can hear that you know things are not right. It’s not too late to get you and your child out. If you want to PM me please do, it’s a scary time but you’ve made a brave first step in talking here. Well done and I hope other women can give some advice and encouragement xx

[Better-days]

Hi sorry for late reply, i u understand how u feel. My partner always threatens he will take our kids it kills nine he uses them. Now you see him for what he is the abuse could escalate mines has and I’m not out. Keep posting and keep safe xx

[Author]

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