He’s coming round with estate agents

[Relieved]

I managed to get my ex to move out and now I’m trying to buy him out of the house. I can only afford a certain amount and I offered it to him through a solicitor for a clean break ie take the money now and move on or wait until the kids have left full time education and then sell the house. I hate living in a house that he still part owns, it’s not in good decorative order as he expected me to help(along with doing all the child care, cook, clean, work etc) He now wants the house valued and is insisting on coming round with 3 estate agents to have it valued – I tried to say I would deal with it and it was not necessary for him to be present to no avail. I don’t want to be there when he is so my mother is going to step in. I know he wants to have a good nose around – I’ve got nothing to hide but it’s making me feel sick the thought that he’ll be here.

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Relieved,

How awful him intruding in your safe place like that, I’d be feeling the same way, it feels like a boundary violation from an ex abuser. I’m wondering if he even has the right to do that because I am pretty sure landlords legally have to have permission to enter the property if they are renting it out to someon, and he is in a similar position to a landlord in that he part owns it but doesn’t live there. I’d check with CAB. I don’t see why you can’t have it valued yourself as the person who is living there, make sure he doesn’t bully you into anything, stand your ground, use your inner calm and strength and we will support you through it. 🙂

[Dragonfly]

Hi relieved

I had to get the property valued too exact same reasons. Don’t let him in. He doesn’t even have to know what date they’re coming. I don’t know what goes through their head but they can have no influence on any valuation. Get your solicitor to instruct a surveyor jointly with his.

FYI this is not a value for sale purposes, which is good, I think you’ll find the value is lower than the open market value which is good for you. However he will probably think you’ve had some input in that.

It’s a good idea to have your mum with you incase he turns up

[KIP.]

My advice is not to let him anywhere near the house. If he still legally owns half and you have no legal order in place keeping him out then he has every right to just bring his suitcase and move straight back in. Id be more concerned about why he actually feels the need to be there. Do not trust a word he says. Unless you both agree on a valuation your solicitors will instruct a joint proper valuation via survey. Which is probably a good idea because my ex would never agree to any valuation i had done. Even the proper valuation he had done. Always saying it would fetch much more on the “open market”. Its senseless dealing with abusers. Get some good legal advice and dont be messed around.

[Author]

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