He’s found us

[Goldengirl]

I took my child and ran (detail removed by moderator)after discovering he was abusive to my youngest, as well as myself, when I was not around. Went through court to have him evicted and we moved back in. He had to stay away from us. Went through court to keep my child away from him. Went through divorce. Went through financial dispute after divorce. Finally got social housing on other side of city and just started a full time job. Bliss, eh? No. He’s found us. Now, I see him almost every day but he keeps to main road and doesn’t come down our cul-de-sac. Police have a marker on house, even though the order to keep away has expired. Funny about the timing! Police can’t do anything as he stays on main road and could just be driving through. Had been keeping a log of sightings but stopped as it is nearly every day, sometimes more than once a day, so many entries. He’s not keeping to financial order and no money or energy left to fight it. Our new start lasted about a month. Just want it all to stop!!!!

[SunshineRainflower]

I’m sorry to hear this Goldengirl, it sounds incredibly stressful and upsetting. I would say keep doing the record of sightings even though it is multiple and tedious, because if it escalates then having a clear record will be very damning against him and help your case a lot.

I’m not sure what to advise but I would give the helpline and Rights of women a call because what the police are doing doesn’t sound good enough to me because it is clearly intimidating him driving past your road multiple times a day when it has been proven he is dangerous to you and your child. It sounds like the police need to do their job and take some steps to protect you. Is there another officer you could talk to at the station, someone who will do more about this? Don’t give up, keep fighting for what it right and keep posting for support.

[KIP.]

Hey there, there are new stalking laws. Hes putting you in a state of fear and distress. Hes breaking the law and dont let the police say otherwise. Ring the domestic abuse unit. Ring Rights for Women. My order was up very recently and i know whats coming too but the first sighting and im ringing the police and i will keep ringing until they do something.

[Twisted Sister]

Exactly KIP

Wanted to add my sympathies too for your predicament. It is stalking and also was he doing this whilst non-mol was in force? As another could be granted.

Keep strong and safe

Warmest wishes Ks xx

[Lisa]

Hi Goldengirl,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds incredibly stressful. Please do phone the helpline to talk through all your options and keep logging the sightings of him and reporting them to the Police. Your local Women’s Aid might also be able to help you with some advocacy and increasing the safety in the home. I understand you may not want to at all but you could consider going in to a refuge if you feel very stressed and frightened. I think the idea of another injunction is a good one, perhaps they could extend the radius that he is allowed to where you live (and work if relevant?). A meeting with the Domestic Abuse Unit of your Police should be helpful and they should understand that his behavior could be seen as stalking and stalking is coercive control.

You are doing brilliantly. Please shout loudly for support and let us know how you get on. We are all here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

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