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You need to keep a diary Ssss and be firm with your child that they speaks to you before taking thing to their dad, and it shouldn’t keep happening either, Is these requests for urgent stuff or is this just continuing nonsense from him, the later I expect.
You need to have no contact with him , or him with you, so you can have the space and time needed for you to decide without pressure what is the right way forward for you and the children
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Hi daisy…. yes your right…diary.. obviously non urgent…. yes things were muddling along ok…in fact I was surprised but every time he rings it’s a spanner in the works… but always every obstacle will b put in place… it follows that his next point will be the children… but I thought he would wait a while ☹️…. freedom to choose only one child has phone and yes they are phone age appropriate…. that’s the trouble I would take it off him if I could…. the only time he rings is when he wants something… and he’s got my child on a string….as soon as he phoned my child thinks he must drop everything and go straight down to him…. plied with money and promises of wonderful things… and a few questions… and lastly some digs about mum….he spent years egnoring that child.. and has never spoke to him soo much….my child craves the attention from his father…..
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that’s really difficult, the only thing I can suggest is court and to put it in a contact order ,
i.e. phone contact twice a week.I’ve had the ‘promises of wonderful things’ thing before.. also the ‘digs about mum’.
These things are likewise really difficult emotionally and I want to send you a hug because when they happened to me I felt very isolated.
I managed to work on my own feelings, my self care – and kind of ignore them.
I’m sure other ladies on here will say that an ex who does this tends to get bored if you don’t react. I think they call this the grey rock thing..
It is very difficult for you and your child, I’m realy sorry you are having to deal with this.
Hope at least some of my comments helped a bit.others may have other insights to offer.
hug
ftc
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Funny how you felt surprised Ssss how things were going along without him, because YOU were the one dealing with everything all along anyway – weren’t you. But him not being there dragging you down is clearly good for you, and your self esteem, you seem more relaxed and confident – do you agree?
Yep , urgent report and non urgent keep a record of as a lot of little breaches still add up too and get too much and need reporting.
What ever he has been ordered not to do, you need to enforce.
He needs to realise that he can’t just do as he pleases anymore.
Well done Ssss, I know it’s not easy but it does get easier , by sticking to the no or least contact.
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