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I can’t stand that everyone thinks he’s nice it drives me nuts especially women or friends of the family. He’s not nice he’s horrible. I went to an event (detail removed by moderator) he knew how long I was looking forward to it I tried to tell him (detail removed by moderator) how it was and how my night went and he’s like you can tell me but I’m not really interested and was you flirting etc saying silly things.
I just think you know what everyone is fooled by you but your a horrible b****y sod and I know it.
Then he’s on about sex and us sleeping together later but won’t even listen when I’m trying to tell him about my night or acknowledge me.
I hate him I wish he would leave so much 🙁 does anyone else hate the act and why do they do it and everyone fall for it. -
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Yes everyone else gets the beautiful treatment and I get the rubbish now. I was away with him and this woman we met said ‘he’s so nice’ when he went off to get us tea. I can’t stand that anymore. It’s got worse the separation between the nasty way he is with me and the person he is with other people. We don’t live together thankfully and I moved into my house a few months ago. I am only just starting to get on top of things and did so much today. I am exhausted but I need to make a start as he has floored me and I haven’t been able to do anything or think properly. I had to hold down my job which he wouldn’t have cared if I’d lost. Now when he says goodnight to people and thanks them etc I just think what (detail removed by Moderator)! Then with the next breath he is screaming at me in my car until he is purple and his eyes are bulging out of the sockets. I have to keep that image in my mind and put the earlier good times to the back of my mind.
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My story is so different. My ex is hateful to everyone, particularly my family. And never love bombed. It’s like I wasn’t even worthy of putting up a pretence.
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Landy, at least you know where you stand with him.
I challenged my husband about his Jekyll and Hyde personality and he (very angrily) denied this. It drives me up the wall too when people think he is so nice. It actually demonstrates he is well aware of his ‘loss’ of control when he has an outburst. He simply stabs everybody in the back when they are out of hearing range. His absolute lack of respect is in total contrast to his ‘public’ face. Consequently I deliberately keep people I know away from him. He had the cheek to have a pop at a few people I know (behind their back of course) because they did not invite HIM out ie. include him in their life. FFS. -
Doris – I just love the last 3 letters for your response. FFS. I love it. Sums it up doesn’t it.
My ex was/is consumed with perfection and appearances. When I’d actually get to go out with him (to keep up appearances), it would be him checking his hair, still ironing a shirt, trying on another shirt, being late in doing so (also games, cause you know “it only takes me 15 minutes to get ready” – it never did) – anyway, would always be my fault somehow that we’d be late even if I had been ready for sometimes half an hour. But it went further than him just wanting to look good. We would always talk about his job with others (my job? well that’s boring). It would always be the stories from his work where he would come out oh so well and preferably where a colleague would come out a bit not so well. And yet, when he’d put those colleagues down himself, there was no right answer. I tried 3 different things, rotated them even, none were right. I tried agreeing – nope, that’s putting my new best friend down. I tried standing up for/thinking the best of whatever colleague he was talking about – nope, you’re not supportive. I tried saying nothing and giving a reassuring stroke on his shoulder – nope, that’s condescending.
I remember once the topic fell on my education, I am in fact well educated, something my ex is not, but I wasn’t allowed into the line of work I am educated for if that makes sense. His mother told me that my educations were thus useless because I hadn’t kept up with it. Doris, I’m gonna steal your 3 letters cause I’m p***** now. I wish I could go back and yell in that woman’s face that I had given up EVERYTHING for her son FFS because he’d demanded it, forced it, controlled it, beaten me when I objected. Think it’s time I return to my therapeutic letter to his mother now.
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The only person who saw through it was my brother he’s gay and very outspoken he’s never liked my brother he’s even said it my brother makes him feel uncomfortable as anything.
One time he was at the house and was asking me where his socks were and my brother was there and later he said you do know he’s abusive I said no he isn’t he said he speaks down the you I never even noticed anything. My brother clocked it and has never liked him. He would see me without a penny to my name but has lent money to friends he’s known three minths things like that shouldn’t be like that in a relationship one day I will be free and out. -
Oh no, thats my ex! Im livid at the moment as him having spent every penny i earned for (detail removed by Moderator) years (i earned more than him as he refused to work full time on the basis that he was a better homemaker and parent!) and left me in (detail removed by Moderator)k of debt (detail removed by Moderator) weeks after his mum cane into money, his mum who constantly told me he is a bully and that she would do everything she could to help me and the kids if we ended, is now blanking me and has bought him a house! His acting is that good! as Doris says FFS! sorry for the rant but i get it. The acting is perhaps one of the worst things and sadly goes on forever!
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