He's threatening suicide

[Ribena]

He has threatened it countless times over the years, and had one failed attempt.

Now he’s threatening it again, this time he’s given information about his Will – executor etc. He has said if I call the police to do a welfare check and they knock his door down – which is what happened in his failed attempt – he will come and smash my door down.

Do I ignore it as a threat or do I get authorities involved?

[Ayanna]

Well, I have turned nasty because of what I have been through.
(detail removed by Moderator) Sorry, I have no better advice.

[Indiamalachite]

I would do nothing, mine would continually threaten suicide as a method of making me do whatever it was he wanted. He’s still here.
I went round once as he sounded serious and he used it as a way to get me there and seriously assault me. Send him the number of the samaritans at best, otherwise leave it to him to sort out, its just a way of manipulating you and getting you to feel sorry for him. It’s 99% of the time total rubbish but if he’s that suicidal he can call 999.

[Ribena]

Thank you both. I’ve heard it so often I’m almost immune to it. This is when he’s his most dangerous and unpredictable though – I’ve been in this cycle many times sadly so know the pattern. I’ve done nothing so far and he has gone quiet.

[WalkerInTheRain]

If he genuinely wanted to take that action then it would be HIS choice.
You’re not responsible for him and his safety or wellbeing.

If you have evidence of his threat, then you might want to report him but only to protect yourself.

[Racoon]

I would do nothing but keep any evidence of this as I think it could be used as evidence under new coercive control laws.

[godschild]

Mine has made threats many times and taken just a few drugs to pretend he has taken too many,he knew exactlcy what he was doing they do it to control us. The start of this year he threatened it and I called an ambulance they went to speak to him and he refused, what a waste of their prescious time.

They said its not against the law so there was nothing they could do

I used to react to this is and it was what he wanted so Ijust ignore it now , it does not work anymore like many of his other tactics.

They use any tactic to try try to manlipulate us , re smashing your door down, take action if he even tries to come near you, they are all threat after threat, its the only way they seem to know xx

[phantasmagorical]

I’m really wary of the suicide threat as in my case I don’t fully believe he’s suicidal, but then feel incredibly guilty about doubting the state of his mental health.

He brought it up fairly recently when I was already upset at him, and that just escalated into me shouting and crying because I was scared, didn’t know how to help him, and didn’t know he’d been feeling that way.

I’ve been reading on the internet that some people threaten suicide to make their partners stay, but I feel like he was using it to deter me from going over because of his mountain of lies. It also effectively absolves him of responsibility for his actions as his parents and friends are very concerned about him, and excusing his behaviour as he isn’t stable or anything.

Yet I recently found out he is back at uni? I don’t understand it.

[Ribena]

I did nothing (removed by moderator) -didn’t alert his family or the police as he requested – and this morning I’ve got an email asking me to pop round as he is feeling very bad and needs to let me know about a few things.

I shouldn’t go should I?

I know he will be crying and I honestly don’t think I can deal with this again. Does that me a heartless and uncaring person? This always makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve been through this so many times I feel like I’m stuck in a revolving door.

[magicunicorn]

no don’t go! sorry to butt in. don’t go if u haven’t already. if u really have to know what he needs to say he can do it over the phone, u have to think of your safety first. but in all honesty I think its best you don’t go hun. x*x

[Ribena]

He is emailing as he says he lost his phone.
He’s now sending some bizarre emails saying (detail removed by moderator). I’m going to phone has sister – she can deal with it.

[WalkerInTheRain]

Good plan Ribena.
You’ve done enough to pass on your concerns to someone else.
If you’ve had bad experiences with him before you’ve done right not to entertain him.
Do you have to be in email contact with him for financial or childcare reasons? Could you block him?

[Author]

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