His ocd is driving me to despair!

[Done-with-this]

Ok. Need a rant – sorry!! My partner suffers from ocd (and possibly ppd). As you can imagine it’s all heightened at the moment but he’s taking it out on us.

Yesterday he went mad at me for leaning on the fence between out and my neighbours saying I could get contaminated. Then he was determined that someone had hacked into the WiFi and spent 3 hours resetting the network 3 times as he kept thinking he hadn’t done it right. I asked for the new password to update my phone. He wouldn’t tell me. Asked him to do it. He threw my phone at me and said no, I’m not doing it now as you are stressing me out.

Today I finally convinced him to let the kids come out with us (he’s not let them leave the house in 3 weeks) but One let go of the dogs lead and the dog went to someone else with a dog who was fine and bought her back over on her lead. He went mad saying the lead could be contaminated and she could have coughed on it (she only went 2/3 m away from us so I’d have seen if the lady had done this). He shouted at us all and he walked off without us.
When we got home he insisted I wash the dog lead and go for a shower. I tried to say it’s no different than when I collected shopping as someone had packed the bags before I handled them but he just walked off. Left me to finish the kids school work and cook dinner. Now he’s determined someone has tried to break in the shed as the padlock he left undone the other day was on the floor. I said it was most likely one of the kids after a scooter but both have denied it when he asked – I think because they’re scared he’ll go mad at them. He’s now looking at putting a camera in the garden and stomping about, slamming doors.
Both kids have asked if we can go to stay at my dads as it’s upsetting them. I know he can’t help his ocd but he’s taking it out on us 3. I always said as long as the kids are happy, I am fine but he’s upsetting them.

My friends are all using zoom to keep in touch but he won’t let me have it as he says someone could use it to hack us and find out where we live. He refuses to handle food (except cans of carling apparently!!!) he wont t join us for dinner – just shuts himself upstairs and watches a film.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, he may have a clinical diagnosis of OCD but he’s still acting abusivly. The kids are wanting to get away from the unsafe environment, you should be too. But, that can only happen when you’re ready to do it. He’s using his OCD as an excuse to be abusive. Some people will use alcohol or drugs or a bad day at work or someone cut them up on the motorway or something else. Being OCD is extremely frustrating fir everyone but not everyone who has it are abusive.
He’s isolating you from friends, trying to ensure you don’t tell anyone
He’s controlling, not updating your phone with new wifi code, looking to put in cameras
He’s physically abusive, throwing objects,stomping about, slamming doors
And as you say he can handle his beer cans but everything else is contaminated?? As a matter of interest does he wash the cans before drinking out of them?
Keep posting, you’re certainly having a time of it so to speak. It’s like having another child in the house. These men get away with their behaviour because there’s never been consequences to it before and we fear them. I used to tell people I wasn’t afraid of my husband but I was afraid of his temper and what he might do, but a person IS in charge of their actions and behaviour not the other way around.
Take care sending much strength to you. You’ll do what’s right fir you in the end, how you get there, when you get there, is your choice.
IWMB 💞💞

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