His sister had sent

[Anonymous]

Me a messenger request on social media. I had blocked her previously so shes made up another profile. Ive not accepted it. I have nothing to do with her as a rule. All.this has come on since ive gone no contact on my ex. Even if i had of accepted it would of been all hurtful things. I feel ive been knocked back when ive been doing so well. X

[lover of no contact]

Of course you do, you’ve been triggered by this indirect contact with your ex via a third party (his sister). Its good you posted about it, this way the feelings will dissipate quicker. In a day or two you’ll feel normal again. You’ve done the right thing in not accepting her request to be in contact with her. It would just open a can of worms for you. Keep the can of worms (HIM) tightly closed with No Contact.

This too will pass.

[Anonymous]

Thanks lover of no contact. I wouldnt mind but we never speak as a rule. Hes behind it i know. Just when i were feeling joyful planning things for me and my sons. Been no contact a couple of week ive built massive strength i want it to continue x

[lover of no contact]

You are doing great with the No Contact and its great you’re feeling so much stronger, that’s the beauty of No Contact, it makes us stronger and takes away the abuser’s Power.

Well him using his sister to Hoover you hasn’t worked. You’re sending him a very strong message that you can resist his hoovers.

[Confused123]

Well done for not accepting request

[anna]

well done for staying strong and refusing to add your xs sister.
I know how upsetting this is getting 3rd party contact. The abusive person does this to wear you down and the implication is they have told this other mutual person that you are aquainted with that we are the horrible one, and it relys on the fact we dont want a bad reputation for being horrible, unforgiving, mad or whatever nonsense they have said about us. it is to get us to reengage with them so they rely on the fact we will want to justify or explain our actions because we dont want people thinking bad about us.
You know at the beginning i really worried what people would think of me and now i think let them think what they want as im free of the abuser!
it is hard though and so you should feel proud you held strong. it gets easier with time and of course the abuser will do it less when they dont get a reactiom.

[Author]

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