Hoovered back in 😩

[Tryingtomoveonsafe]

I’ve not wrote in here for a while, so after a long time apart from the ex, we rekindled and keep seeing each other, on his terms as always, I’ve noticed how anxious I’ve became the last few weeks, he hardly messages me, sees me when it suits him, reply’s when it suits him, I’m left waiting around, I’ve tried to challenge him and I’ve got the how dare u talk to me in this way, and he also said when did he say it was ok to call him out on any of it, I’ve asked him whether we’re together or it’s just fun, I get ignored, the question is deflected, and I’m left once again in limbo, i honestly wish I didn’t allow him back into my life, I’ve undone all my hard progress and I’m back in the same boat, but actually worse as I feel used and worthless again! Feeling sad tonight

[Wants To Help]

Hi tryingtomoveonsafe,

It’s so awful when we love someone and know that we can be the greatest, most loving partner to them but we get treated like this in return. We wonder why these guys can’t see what we have to offer and be appreciative of us.

This man is clearly not invested in you the same way that you are invested in him. He sees you when he wants and is treating the whole thing very casually, (Detail removed by moderator).  Please get yourself back on track and try and move on again.

(Removed by moderator).

If he is not with you on Valentine’s Day and you are left feeling sad tonight (on what is supposedly the most romantic day of the year!!) then use the stroke of midnight to re-set yourself, establish new boundaries and self respect of how you deserve to be treated. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but nothing is going to change unless you put those changes in place. It sounds to me like he’s got the best of both worlds – he’s got it all without giving anything in return.

You know the score here deep down, you know what you have to do. You can do it.

xx

[roadtohealing]

Hi Tryingtomoveonsafe,

I have only just come across your post and I really can relate to being kept off balance, in limbo and just generally not worth the commitment. I don’t know how long you and your partner have been together, I don’t think I can reveal the years I’ve been married here as it might be removed for being personal info, so I’ll just let you guess, we have a son now at university, that’s how long I’ve been in that horrible place known as ‘Limbo’.

For as long as I’ve known I’ve always had to second guess his behaviour, his thoughts and intentions, I’ve always been stuck on ‘standby’ mode, never committing to a plan, a day out or even spending any time with me. I’ve spent many years asking him questions or trying to just have a conversation with him only to be ignored, and slowly slowly it wears you down to the point where you stop being you, and become something he has created. I’ve in hope that things will change, get better, I hope things will for you, but unfortunately years of bad experience has only shown me that it only gets worse.

Good luck and I hope you do what’s right for a better future for yourself.

Take care.

[Author]

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