Housing, could moving back be dangerous

[Smwhyle]

So for back story (detail removed by Moderator) my dad came up to see me where I lived as it’s where my family are, then I went to live with him down where he was, there is a distance between the two places, but only really by a number of hours which is do able in a day. It all went terribly wrong as his mask came completely off and I saw him for what he was. (detail removed by Moderator) Anyway after living with him I moved away from him to a new area not the area I lived at before and I’ve been staying here for less than a year. I want to go back to where I was before for a lot of very good reasons and have accepted an offer of housing but there is the risk that he could have the idea that I could be living there and be out to find me for revenge or whatever and I have a lot of anxiety about it. Am I being rational? Can someone give me their experience of living in the area their abuser knows they lived in

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Smwhyle

I am sorry for your extensive efforts necessary to escape the risk your dad is to you. That must’ve been very hard to go through. The place you stayed previously (before you moved back with him), is hours away, if I understood that right, but also is the place other family live, which is possibly why you have been able to secure an offer of housing there. He presumably won’t know where that is precisely, but would he be able to find you easily by watching the homes of family members for evidence of you? If he was able to do that it would be very easy for him to follow you back to your own home. There are, however, lots of things you can do to keep your new place safer, installing camera’s, having a spy hole in your door, new sturdy locks, and a door chain, for example. Are the police aware that you will be moving back into the area and the potential risk this could present? Is that something you could discuss with them? They may be able to refer you to a local organisation that can go through a risk assessment with you and offer additional safety advice and practical support.

I do hope that you can find a way to be happy and free, and taking these initial steps will hopefully get you there.

warmest wishes

ts

[StrongLife]

Sorry for all that has happened to you.

Please be safe and seek help from domestic violence experts if there is some in your area on how to keep safe. It’s a lot of work to keep yourself safe in domestic violence situation.

Personally I moved out and never went back to avoid more domestic violence. They never change.

Sorry you are experiencing this.

[Smwhyle]

theres been some misunderstanding. I was with my family originally then I went to live with him for the first time when that didn’t work out I left to go and live in a completely new place so that he wouldn’t know where I was.

i wanted to update after all this time
for a number of reasons I decided to go for it and move back to the area I was in originally where my family are.
the police put some kind of protection on so that he is barred from making contact with me (although that only lasts for a period of time and  it worries me that he’s probably waiting for it to be over). if he ever turns up I could call and they would be out right away as a matter of urgency, luckily it hasn’t happened yet.

 

[StrongLife]

I too have never moved back to the area or even visited the area.I live elsewhere and prefer that.

I understand the need to go back to your family. Please keep safe and contact local d v experts where you live.

 

 

[Author]

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