Viewing 15 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #153773
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      And needed there support? My ex would also say he had cold symptoms if he knew I did too…. he would ghost me a little aswell…which I guess just shows them for who they are. X

    • #153774
      Chocolatebar
      Participant

      When ever I am unwell, my husband blanks me. I get no help, he never asks me how I am. It’s very weird behaviour. Why are they like it? I don’t understand what makes them tick xx

    • #153776
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi chocolatebar my ex were the same would only ask if I called him up on it…..but….if we were on a break and he knew I were ill he would want to be first there x

    • #153780
      Hereforhelp
      Participant

      Mine would loom over me when I was sick in bed and say he didn’t know whether he wanted to f**k me or look after me… it used to terrify me as I had breathing problems back then so I couldn’t speak… one time he left me with our children, I couldn’t breathe or move or anything… I don’t know how long I was left but I had to ring an ambulance for myself… husband was furious as it ‘made him look bad’ …. I used to get so anxious about being sick that I made myself even more sick…
      My physical health has improved so much since leaving him
      ❤️ HFH

    • #153781
      Chocolatebar
      Participant

      What makes them so cold and detached ? I put it down to the fact that he must really dislike me a lot ….but why does he still stay? I don’t get him, I wish I understood him but I don’t think I ever will xx

    • #153785
      Camel
      Participant

      My abuser thought I got ill on purpose, just to annoy him. He’d provoke a row then abandon me – literally.

    • #153787
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      I have pain due to a condition i have he tells me im a cripple and nobody wants me.

    • #153789
      Footballfan1
      Participant

      Mine would suddenly become unwell himself, phone in sick at work and stay in bed for days.
      I on the other hand dragged myself through work, organised the childcare , cooked and cleaned even through being unwell

    • #153792
      Marmalade
      Participant

      If I had a minor illness, I just kept on going. My ex was furious when I became ill enough to be bedridden and helpless. He would scream abuse and swear at me for making it up and attention seeking, threatening me unless I stopped. He would abandon me and refuse to let me get medical help. He would try to prevent me contacting anyone.
      If I dared somehow contact a doctor, I would be punished. I can’t say what the punishments are here as they are too identifying but they would be serious. He has abused, attacked and caused scenes in hospitals if I dared go there, also telling me how he would punish me for disobeying him. He always carried through with those punishments.
      Of course if he was ill with a small cold, he was pathetic on the sofa requiring hand and foot waiting on and attention.
      These memories are making me shudder. I was so very lucky to make it out of that relationship.

    • #153795
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      Oh it was a thorough inconvenience if I was unwell. If I had a migraine (which wiped me out for three days) he expected me to make alternative arrangements for the children – it was my problem. He wouldn’t do a thing for me, check on me or bring me anything. Frankly, it was more than it was worth.
      Once, when he was away from home, I had a very acute problem in the night. Told him I reckoned it was xyz, and said oh you’d have known about it if it was that. Well, I did, I was in screaming pain. But he had to belittle me.

      And yes @chocolatebar, I also put it down to the fact that he really didn’t like me and couldn’t be bothered with me – a far cry from the “I can’t live without you” when I left him. Just does your head in. Pickles the brain.

    • #153799
      Cedarlemon
      Participant

      He couldn’t bear it if I was Ill, I could see his face getting more and more angry because the attention wasn’t on him. I dreaded having a sniffle or cough because I knew he would cause absolute dramas. If I rang the doctor and made an appointment he would insist on coming with me so he could pretend to be the caring concerned person which he definitely was not .

    • #153879
      Glampinggirl
      Participant

      Mine threatened to tell my boss that I was faking illness when I took sick leave during pregnancy.

      He cross referenced my symptoms with his mother who agreed I was faking and gave him a photo of her mowing the lawn the day before she birthed him.

    • #153881
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      My God they are vile. And so, often, are their mothers.

    • #153900
      terribleheadspace
      Participant

      He would do some nice things, expect me to be thankful, still expect sex even if I could barely breathe, tell me off if things werent clean and if I wasnt in the mood for him telling me off/I’d stick up for myself he’d punish me.

    • #153937
      StrongLife
      Participant

      Weirdly – different all the time – good one minute ignoring me the next then wanting to divorce me.

    • #153947
      Chocolatebunnie
      Participant

      For me as soon as I say I’m feeling unwell he feels exactly the same.

      He rests I don’t, this isn’t every time but 99% I would say.

      I don’t always say anything now unless it flu or something like that so I can’t get up.

      I’m chronically unwell but you would never know, he doesn’t listen or absorb anything I say. He turns things into a joke.

      When I had my last child I was seriously Ill and got sent back to hospital he claimed when I got out and had to help that it was all about me!

      He has no empathy but can feel sorry for himself or whoever he chooses. It’s like he doesn’t believe me or hear me and he must know it’s hurtful and frustrating for me that he’s like it.

Viewing 15 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content