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And needed there support? My ex would also say he had cold symptoms if he knew I did too…. he would ghost me a little aswell…which I guess just shows them for who they are. X
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Hi chocolatebar my ex were the same would only ask if I called him up on it…..but….if we were on a break and he knew I were ill he would want to be first there x
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Mine would loom over me when I was sick in bed and say he didn’t know whether he wanted to f**k me or look after me… it used to terrify me as I had breathing problems back then so I couldn’t speak… one time he left me with our children, I couldn’t breathe or move or anything… I don’t know how long I was left but I had to ring an ambulance for myself… husband was furious as it ‘made him look bad’ …. I used to get so anxious about being sick that I made myself even more sick…
My physical health has improved so much since leaving him
❤️ HFH -
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If I had a minor illness, I just kept on going. My ex was furious when I became ill enough to be bedridden and helpless. He would scream abuse and swear at me for making it up and attention seeking, threatening me unless I stopped. He would abandon me and refuse to let me get medical help. He would try to prevent me contacting anyone.
If I dared somehow contact a doctor, I would be punished. I can’t say what the punishments are here as they are too identifying but they would be serious. He has abused, attacked and caused scenes in hospitals if I dared go there, also telling me how he would punish me for disobeying him. He always carried through with those punishments.
Of course if he was ill with a small cold, he was pathetic on the sofa requiring hand and foot waiting on and attention.
These memories are making me shudder. I was so very lucky to make it out of that relationship. -
Oh it was a thorough inconvenience if I was unwell. If I had a migraine (which wiped me out for three days) he expected me to make alternative arrangements for the children – it was my problem. He wouldn’t do a thing for me, check on me or bring me anything. Frankly, it was more than it was worth.
Once, when he was away from home, I had a very acute problem in the night. Told him I reckoned it was xyz, and said oh you’d have known about it if it was that. Well, I did, I was in screaming pain. But he had to belittle me.And yes @chocolatebar, I also put it down to the fact that he really didn’t like me and couldn’t be bothered with me – a far cry from the “I can’t live without you” when I left him. Just does your head in. Pickles the brain.
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He couldn’t bear it if I was Ill, I could see his face getting more and more angry because the attention wasn’t on him. I dreaded having a sniffle or cough because I knew he would cause absolute dramas. If I rang the doctor and made an appointment he would insist on coming with me so he could pretend to be the caring concerned person which he definitely was not .
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For me as soon as I say I’m feeling unwell he feels exactly the same.
He rests I don’t, this isn’t every time but 99% I would say.
I don’t always say anything now unless it flu or something like that so I can’t get up.
I’m chronically unwell but you would never know, he doesn’t listen or absorb anything I say. He turns things into a joke.
When I had my last child I was seriously Ill and got sent back to hospital he claimed when I got out and had to help that it was all about me!
He has no empathy but can feel sorry for himself or whoever he chooses. It’s like he doesn’t believe me or hear me and he must know it’s hurtful and frustrating for me that he’s like it.
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