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I’ve been quiet for a while…things have been rumbling along and then (detail removed by Moderator) there was such a huge argument over something so tiny and insignificant that it’s hard to believe that this is the thing that might force me to act. But teenage child got brought in to this argument (and it was only an argument at least, and nothing physical – but I can no longer sit behind the “staying for the kids”/”staying for the good of the family as a whole” when the kids are being dragged in). Anyway. I’ve been looking online to try to find out how much a divorce costs and it seems to start at around £3000 or £4000. We both work and I know we wouldn’t qualify for legal aid (quite rightly) – but even so, like the majority of people, we don’t happen to have thousands of pounds sitting around the place. How does it work? How does it happen? I’ve been so caught up in the emotional side of this that I haven’t ever given any real thought to the practicalities of it all.
Thanks in advance
WWIU xx
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Divorce is never going to be nice even if it’s agreeable and you’re not leaving (detail removed by Moderator). Basically we have to cling to whatever leads us to dry land. You can divorce now without a solicitor and the law has been changed so you can have a no fault divorce which can make things easier. Citizen’s Advice can help.
Unfortunately there are rarely winners in divorce.
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Divorce lawyers do know we dont have thousands stashed away, even do a repayment plan. Some lawyers will just charge £1000 +VAT and then basically write the rest off. If you can, try and save as much as possible for even a retainer, the rest can be paid off with the sale of the house, there’s always a way just ask for financial advice through your local WA. The main focus to remember, it’s to the getting him out of your life, not how much it’s going to cost. In the initial stages everything is going round and round in your head, how you’re going to afford it is a major hurdle, but, what price can you put on your children growing up into well adjusted young adults, without any emotional baggage bar the, need for a new phone, trainers etc.What price your own sanity and happiness. I no longer care about the cost, I just want this to be over, if I’m paying it off for years to come so be it. My oh took nearly 2 decades to pay off his legal aid bill. His motto is you tell them, they don’t tell you😒 once you’ve worked things out a bit more, been given some good financial advice, then you can start to move forward, unless you’re terrified for your lives, there’s no rush, play the long game. Talk to WA, get their take on how he is,. I started by getting rid of clothes and shoes and bags, things I knew I didn’t want to take with me, then I set to shredding anything I could find. Make lists on your phone, just in case he finds the written ones, find out what things you need if you have to leave in a hurry. Get as much joint financials(and individual) copied so you’re lawyer knows what they are working with. It’s a process we go through, each baby step is a step closer to our destination. Whether that’s in the family home without him, or in refuge accommodation until social housing becomes available. Once you can look at it objectively, without the baggage of emotional, physical and financial attachments, then you’ll see it’ll be okay. It’s a road none of us would choose, but we get through this with the help of each and everyone of us on this forum. Sometimes we get a kick up the bum, sometimes we get virtual hugs, what we always get is the unconditional belief that we are abused by the very person who is meant to love us above all others.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞 -
It depends on whether you can agree to the grounds of the divorce and who gets what really. I think if both people are aware of what the law says, meaning both parties understand what he and she is entitled to (and do not use the divorce to try and screw one another), each person is willing to divorce and aim for halving everything, both want to genuinely do what is right by the children, gives a little here and there, meaning you win on somethings lose on others – then it can be done without solicitors.
If it were me I would look at trying to do it myself first or at least get an application and read it and the guidance notes.
My DA support worker said they could put me in touch with someone who can offer legal advice but who is not a qualified solictor – might be worth asking.
I know folk that have done it themselves, they fill out the forms and send it in but these are amicable divorces. There’s also a legal doc. that can be drawn up re what will happen after the divorce – but both parties need to consent to this, e.g. half the pension, when the children reach 18 this is what will happen etc etc – can’t remember what this is called though, sorry.
Do you think he would agree to a divorce? Guess that’s the first step x
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Divorce is just a piece of paper. It’s the separation of assets ld arrangements and financial arrangements and arguing over them through solicitors that will cost money. I got out safely and then tackled the divorce. The main thing is your safe and the kids are safe. Start with a good solicitor and see what the law says you’re entitled to. It might surprise you. I got way more than I ever expected and if I’d known that I’d have left long ago but he kept saying I’d get nothing x
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I’m divorcing my abusive ex it’s costed me £200.
It only costs a lot when u have solicitors but you don’t necessarily need them. The forms are pretty easy and use forums and women’s legal help etc to get questions answered and bring you confidence.
We have come to agree finance element via his solicitor and me doing mine side myself.
Yes financial order needs solicitor but few hundred I’d say.
It’s a fight on finance bit but
Otherwise it’s just forms!
Or go half and half, you doforms but use solicitor for the advise and finance bit. Still cheaper.
My ex is abusive, a liar, fighting me on everything and being plain nasty but still managing divorce without full legal help -
(Detail removed by moderator).
also don’t forget the Coram Centre
They also run a child law section on their website
which has sample child arrangements agreementsif you try to work out what your needs are, feelings wise and also financially and what contact arrangmenets might work for you you will probably get a thanks from the judge
more and more people are understanding that some of us are now forced to go it alone without solicitor
I don’t think I would have managed, due to circumstances but
jj Go!ftc
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im low income so with the support of my local womens aid (appropiate support letter) i qualified for legal aid for a solicitor and court costs for filing for the divorce covered (his got there first)
my divorce with childrens dad was minimal as it was amicable, we sorted finances via mediation. but it wasn’t a perp/victim scenario like this time round.
some solicitors will do a divorce package for life £499 to assist with paperwork, etc but that is in addition to court fees so your looking at about 1k min.
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