How long will it take?

[Wateringcan]

(detail removed by moderator) months later and i still feel so confused, so hurt, so broken.
When will i feel like me again..
And why when im feeling at my lowest do i want to turn to my ex for support. I dont go to him but i want to… it doesnt make sense.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, it takes time sweetheart, as long as it has to. Look up trauma bonding, you’re weaning yourself off a drug- him. He temporarily made you feel better before, it’s that that you’re craving. These feelings will lessen, every time you don’t respond with him, that’s another tiny piece of that bond being broken. Its natural to feel like that, just be kind to yourself. Do whatever it takes to get you through the moment. Cry it out, take a bubble bath, I swear I’ve never had so many bubble baths in my life!! Write it down, what your feeling. One day in the not too distant future, you’ll be feeling different, you’ll not be aware you’re changing but one day you’ll be like I’ve not thought of him in so long, yes he’ll pop into your thoughts, but that’s all it’ll be, you won’t be consciously thinking of him. Keep posting, you can do this.
Much love and strength
IWMB 💞💞

[Wateringcan]

Thanks for replying..
I looked into the trauma bond.. im finding it really hard as either him or what he put me through is constantly on my mind. And when i sleep i have nightmares. Feel like my brain is 100mph and it just wont turn off 🙁
I spend hours every day in tears & im finding that i just want to give in.

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling, it is hard. Even though my ex left (detail removed by moderator) years ago, I relied on him a lot and only now have I managed to gather the strength to report him. I still relied on him (I’ve got (detail removed by moderator) children and health conditions, I have no family or friends nearby) practically and to talk to so much, but this has got less and less over time. It hasn’t gone away, but it definitely gets easier over time, and I feel less depressed, helpless and worthless as time goes on.

It helped me to focus on something positive to help me move forward, perhaps (for me it was doing a course) but it could be doing crafts or just something that interests you and reignites you? Plan a trip just for you? Anything you’ve always been interested in (but no doubt your other half would’ve dissed)? Take care and all the best

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