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Hello you wonderful women
Some of you may remember me, I was a mess when I joined some years ago… finally we are free of him, have moved and am healing… I feel like a different woman now. My children are doing so much better…
It took me many years to get here, I was married.for many many years and had a lot of rewiring to do… he made it as difficult as he could.
I made a mistake by entering a new relationship too quickly after my marriage… not because the person I was with was abusive, I was still in a flight/fight mode after years of DA. If you do leave I would strongly suggest time to heal and to find who you are now, something which can only be done by spending time with yourself and feeling into all those nasty feelings (I used to feel them in my chest and pit of my stomach, meds helped me at that time).
I ended that relationship and focused on myself, did the relevant courses and learnt to accept and move on from what was.
In the early stages i was terrified of the Financial loss, moving children from marital home… I needn’t have worried as I traded that for peace and there’s no price on that.. I am now present as who I am now. Anxiety has lessoned and my.children are far happier than I have seen in years. If anything leaving our family home did them good as there were too many unhappy memories (yes there were some.good.times but the damage he did was far greater).
If you are afraid of the unknown, or feel guilty to your children for leaving… well, I was too but it really is the best thing I ever did for my children and myself.. I never thought I would feel better, it does get better.
Wherever you are on this journey, you are already acknowledging that something is seriously wrong in your relationship to be on this forum. Trust your gut, you are enough, what you feel is real. You do not owe anyone anything, you owe yourself peace, love and there is no excuse for anyone to treat you badly, to speak down and belittle or hurt you in anyway… no matter what excuses they use, there is no excuse.
Wishing you all peace
HFH ❤️
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Hey HFH what an amazing post to read. Gosh you are incredible.
I am so so glad you are doing well I often think of those who were here when I first came here. To read about how others have been able to leave and to start to heal helps us all im sure. I remember you well and thank you for all the support you gave me.
Nothing has changed really here for me but I think maybe im changing I do feel little by little i am gaining strength. Its still 2 steps foward and 3 back here but reading posts likes yours brightens my day. Sending you big hugs xx
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Hi HFH,
I’m quite new here, so I wasn’t around for the beginning of your journey but it’s so wonderful to read your post. Your words will help and encourage many I’m sure, they are certainly what I needed to read tonight. I am definitely feeling those feelings in a physical way just like you describe, and scared for my children so wonderful to hear a story with such hope.
I hope you continue to thrive, you deserve it.
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