I am lost

[3am thinking]

Even tho we’re out of the situation, we have a lovely home, my kids are happy and I’ve had some really good days, I still feel lost.

There are days when I feel so overwhelmed, like I’m being crushed by everything and all I want to do is crawl under my duvet and hide.

I’m waiting to hear about counselling as I need someone other than family to talk to, they’ve been hurt by everything that’s gone on too & I don’t want to add to that. Due to being almost totally isolated I don’t have any friends I could talk to, so on my bad and worse days I have no one and spend the whole day bawling my head off.

I feel so lost

[Ariel]

Hi
Well done to starting build your own life. It’s a long recovery process.
I am out for a few years now and still feel I am recovering. The reason I came on the forum today was because I was sat in the bath crying my eyes out. I seem to be sabotaging my new relationship.
I totally understand that you have days when you are lost as I do too. But the days get less often as you start to re build. I do find myself having phases of being in turmoil and I don’t know how to stop the build up of emotions but then one day I notice I’m a lot happier and calmer. It seems to go around like that.

[Rainbowlamb]

I totally relate I have days where I just want to curl up in a ball and do absolutely nothing.
I feel lost , sad lonely overwhelmed I

[Fairyliquid]

Keep reaching out.
There are lots of people on here that can relate.
Is it possible for you to try and go to a local social meet up, art class or bookclub. Somewhere where you don’t have to talk about homelife but where you can get some positive low maintenance interactions. Something where if things are bad at home and you can’t go it won’t be a problem. I understand that having commitments is hard when the relationship can make you flakey.

[3am thinking]

Ariel, Rainbowlamb, Fairyliquid,

Thankyou so much for your replies, I really needed those today.

I know I need to get back out into the world, but even the idea of trying terrifies me, what if it turns out that I was the problem all along? I feel like I’ve got the word “failure” tattooed on my face.

How can I try to make friends when I don’t know how? How can I hope that people might like me when I hate myself so much.

I don’t know how to get thru this.

(Sorry for the rant, no offense meant to anyone)

[Author]

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