I am new here but not new to the life in prison

[Bloomingdale212]

Hi everyone. My best wishes will all the lovely women here.

I feel hurt, furious, humiliated and all the negative emotions a human can feel. I have two lovely kids and have been marries for almost (timeframe removed by Moderator) years but I waited longer to have kids that was (timeframe removed by Moderator) years after my marriage when I fell for the social pressure that I should have kids.

My husband is an emotionally abusive man. He will stay kind and nice of things ar according to him but will turn into a beast of things go against him. He hasn’t hit me but what he has done is not any good.

He shouts and use bad language for me upset n conflicts between us. He is always cautious about materials like his car,laptop, phone or iPad even toys that kids play with. Nothing should break or even scratch. Kids should be playing carefully so that they don’t break their toys. (timeframe removed by Moderator) my kids accidently spilled water on his iPad and he got furious. When I asked him not to show the reaction, kids get scared. He started shouting and blaming me instead that I humiliated him Infront of kids because in interfered when my kid should be disciplined.

I mostly don’t interfere in his engagements with kids but sometimes like this I have to because his reaction even scares me and the kids lose confident. They like me have to walk on eggshells.

How can I raise my kids well with him around because his influence is bad.

In park when he goes with kids, he just keeps following them not letting them freely, ” don’t touch that, it’s dirty, don’t do that etc etc.

I am sick of him. I can’t think of any way to escape from him with my kids. He is (age removed by Moderator) but during conflicts he becomes a child so immature. Like if I ask my kids to go to bed as it’s bed time he would I ask them not to sleep but play. He would do things opposite of what I ask the kids making my kids confused.

I hate him but I am from a culture where I am helpless, no support from family. I have recently started a job with a thought to be independent soon and leave with kids but I need emotional support. I need so much support and motivation

 

[Lisa]

Hi Bloomingdale212,

I’m glad that you’ve found this forum for some emotional support from other women who understand. Hopefully some of them will be able to reply soon to share from their experiences.

How you’re feeling is totally understandable. His behaviour is not okay. You and your kids deserve to live freely without fear of his anger and abuse.

You should be able to get ongoing support, including with making a plan to leave, from your local domestic abuse service. You could also use our Live Chat service to speak to a support worker about your options.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Maybe]

Hi. There are so many things that resonate with me what you have said. You feel and know the behaviour is wrong it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t hit you, it took me years to get that, my husband doesn’t hit me either or cheat etc but the behaviour and treatment well there r no words. All I would say is the culture part really hit me, I understand you. But its you living this life, and you deserve better. I for years a life time thought what a good wife should be and evertime I was told I wasn’t enough I panicked at what the family would think how I fell short and didn’t measure up, brought shame etc but at the end of the day it’s us who are living it day in day out no one else and our kids. Good luck to you stay strong and go with your intuition x

[Author]

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