- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 12 months ago by Anonymous.
18th May 2016 at 7:54 pm #17544InneedofsomepeaceParticipant
I am really struggling and feel really lost. For several reasons sorry if this ends up being a long post.
So there is lots going on as you know we’ve moved out of refuge and he’s been released. Alongside all of this I have had to change my anti depressants, they weren’t working very well. (Although i think i am looking for something that will block all feelings and memories) but i was also struggling with side effects. The problem is reducing the dose and starting new ones has left me feeling really unwell, and struggling even more. I’m not sleeping although this hasn’t been helped by the police asking me if I know where he’s living! He’s still being investigated and only served half a sentence how the hell did they loose him!! I am struggling with flash backs hearing him and nightmares. I also keep like dissociating, its like I’m watching myself not really there invisible if that makes sense, I’m a lot more anxious when I’m out and over vigelent.
My nightmares are really disturbing me. I’m having them where I’m reliving things he did to me. But I have another one that leaves me so upset, where he finds us and kills us, all i can do is stand and watch as he kills my children i can’t move and then he kills me. I wake up having panic attacks.
I don’t know how to deal with all of this. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense nothing seems to make sense at the minute.
18th May 2016 at 10:48 pm #17562AyannaParticipant
You probably have PTSD.
I too have dissociations and a particular horrible flashback/nightmare that has something to do with killing. It leaves me with a racing pulse and a full blown panic attack. I can do nothing about it. It comes as it wishes.
Anti depressants are not the correct treatment for PTSD. You need specialist counseling. Here we are two who get the wrong treatment from the health service.
I am not surprised what they did with your ex. All these policies they have for every f**t are for nothing.
It is all ridiculous. If you are not rich and famous you need to be very tough to be able to survive.
18th May 2016 at 10:48 pm #17563Confused123Participant
YOur not rambling, i think u on guard cause police dont know where he is, its natural to feel like that, i’d be looking over my shoulder too and having nightmares. i find triggers can set the dreams and nightmares of, i would explain to gp how u feel in terms of side effects from tablets, hopefully more ladies with more experience on medication can guide u further
19th May 2016 at 2:00 pm #17590AnonymousInactive
Hi, I am so sorry you are being bothered by these nightmares , I have horrific ones too and they can upset you so much that they affect you even after they are over. Definitely worth going to your gp and if it is PTSD like symptoms they can offer you some kind of help in the form of CBT.
Given that they don’t know where he is of course you are going to be on permanent watch so to speak. This is a perfectly normal reaction to what has been a most stressful and upsetting time for you. Hopefully they will find him soon and you may start to relax a little, even just knowing where he is might help.
You may find your meds knock you about quite a lot while switching because you will be having withdrawal affects from one and possible side affects of the other. Sometimes I find that if you picture a short period of time say two weeks when you know the worst of the effects of the meds will be over and cross them off either physically or in your head and say to yourself I am one step closer to feeling better. It is almost like giving yourself a countdown so you don’t feel like you are going to be stuck in this inbetween state for ages. Sending you hugs and hoping things change for you soon . xx
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