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Theres one thing my partner does as a control thing. Its only a minor silly thing in grand picture but he kept doing it to me so i decided to copy and do it to him to see how he felt when i did it. He noticed straight away and commented on fact i had done it. I hope he knows how it feels now. I hope he will stop doing it now.its a minor thing but it takes away the one thing i love from me.
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yes you need to be careful. I did this, using stonewalling. He just upped the ante- he is compelled to control me by what ever means and will use ever more horrible and weird ways to do that. It wasn’t worth it. I did it because like you I wondered if he really understood what he was doing. Well, I know now that he absolutely does.
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Sounds like a minor thing but I guess you don’t want that to escalate. I know out off pure hurt I cheated a few times. He never found out until after we split and boy did he make sure everyone new. It was just j for him tho! I look back now and wish is kept my self respect. Also the if he had found out goodness knows what the outcome would have been. Always keep your standards high so when you walk away you hold your head high xx
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Careful ALL, I get where you are coming from, it’s like a test, to show you he has one set of rules for him and another for you hey, but you need to be mindful not to fall into this and for it to become how you communicate with one another, t*t for tat, it will anger him yes, which leads him to up his game, but it also leaves you unsupported when you reach out for help because the authorities see you both as toxic, as bad as each other. Its hard enough as it is for the authorities to take us seriously – escpecially when it comes to emotional abuse – because they cant see the bruises.
You can never win or beat him, he will only play harder – the trick is to not enter into any of it. You only lose yourself and your truth playing him at his own game.
Listen to and take guidance from your integrity always – it won’t let you down x
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