I don’t know if this is normal !?

[Ginger.Ale]

I’ve been in my relationship now for over a year and there has been red flags but I think I choose to ignore them because when things are good they are really good.
recently things have got worse and I’m just being controlled and being made to choose my kids or my partner.
my partner is not the father of my children although I am currently pregnant and really don’t know what to do about the pregnancy.
It’s like there’s one rule for me and my children yet a thousand for him and his children. He expects me to be at his every night other wise relationship won’t work and for him to stay at mine then I have to arrange for my daughter to not be here because he doesn’t like her. Everything is just getting too much and so much has happened too much to put down here. I have no friends to turn too and no other support is this normal am I the problem should I just do as he says to live a happy life ?

[nbumblebee]

I never feel like i should comment on posts like these as ive been married decades and am still here. But to me reading your story sends a shiver down my spine. He doesnt like your daughter. He is ckntrolling as you say there are red flags. If I had seen or had even known what red flags were back then I would have gotten out.

Yes you are pregnant and yes thats going to be hard but do you want to bring up a child with this man? Do you want your daughter to live with a man who in your own words hates her? No. This is not normal as you say be very careful sweetie think of your children I know and understand you live him gosh its why Ive stayed for so long but take it from someone who genuinly knows it will get so much worse. You dont want that trust me it will ruin you. X

[Bananaboat]

Choose your daughter. Every time.  You come as a package, if he wants you he takes her – not as a dad but as your partner and supportive adult. Imagine being your daughter and how that must feel now and as she grows up.

High chance that if you stay he’s likely to play the kids off against one another and these men tend to get worse post baby as your attention isn’t on him anymore. It sounds like you have your own place so focus on you and your daughter, and baby. He’s an adult, he doesn’t need you round his every night and you say in your post  ‘his children’ so I presume he has others? Imagine if you told him you hated them?!! Give yourself some space to think, maybe speak to WomansAid xx

[Hereforhelp]

Hey, as mentioned by Bananaboat to get in touch with Women’s Aid for support, they won’t pressure you to do  anything but they do understand.

 

You and your daughter come together, he has already expressed his dislike of your child… that’s him trying to fully control you and him not caring in the slightest if that hurts you (and it would obviously hurt your daugjter)…

 

If you picked the option which he wants he still wouldn’t be happy, it won’t be enough and he will keep on moving the goalposts.

Put your daughter and her needs before his, it is a boundary which your partner is wanting to break, don’t allow it.

 

Keep posting x*x

 

 

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