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I don’t understand… why it’s so hard for people in our situations to get help… it doesn’t seem to matter what country your in, what city, what culture, getting help seems so difficult.
Organization, after organization, all seem to turn people way.
I don’t comment on everyone’s posts, but I read a lot of what people post.
And so many of you say the same thing. No help is coming.
And it hurts to read it. Because you should be helped.
And I know this feeling of no help is coming. I recently asked for help from 2 different domestic violence centers/women’s shelters, and was either ignored or given the run around.
I just don’t understand why this is so common. This we can’t help you, attituded. Or, you have to jump through a bunch of complicated hoops that aren’t always possible when living with an abusive partner.
I just don’t understand… if these organizations that are supposed to understand our situations… yet they don’t really seem to…
And it’s a global problem. Not just the abuse. But the lack of help.
It’s just strange to me, that organizations find reasons NOT to help, while claiming to help people in our situations.
It just hurts. It shatters hope.
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Hi notyourmaid. I’m so sorry this is your experience too.
Sadly, I can relate. When I found a local service that I thought might help me I was so hopeful. But after the initial assessment and another phone call I was told they couldn’t continue to provide the support as apparently I am ‘capable of advocating for myself’. While I understand they likely have clients with higher needs than me, it’s just sad that others can slip through the cracks as they appear to be coping. Or even those with greater need don’t always get support, as I’m reading. I expect it comes back to resource and funding, which is a sad state of affairs for 2025.
(Sorry for the negativity on a Friday morning, just wanted to reach out when I read your post). -
I am so sorry your going through this. It sounds really frustrating and draining. It may be the time of the year and/ or due to funding and really the government need to pull their finger out and help.
Could you file a complaint for the ones that ignored you ? They usually have this on their webpages.
Keep trying and hold that anger to fuel you to keep trying until your heard. And this webpage is helpful if you need to talk. I find it really helpful. Have you got an outreach service near you ? It’s like a drop in you can go to. If that’s possible though. If he is keeping you inside or anything that stops you receiving a service or support say with violence etc the police is an option. Or going into the station and explain what’s happening to the DA section if you feel you can’t return home.
I hope you get a better service and support you need . Keep safe 🙏
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No, they don’t have a drop in. Because I had initially wanted to do that, the language barrier is less stressful in person, but when I called and asked where the office is, they said that their office is hidden for safety reasons.
But I’m going to try different organizations, and see if someone else can help.
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It’s ok to be negative! At least that’s what I think. I think women more than men (or those that identify that way), are told that we need to positive. Like, if you’re female, you have no choice but pretend that everything is ok. I think that’s a load… (choose your favorite bad word!).
And our situations are painful, so it really helps to release that negativity on this website. It’s pretty much the only place people understand what we’re going through.
I’m sorry it happened to you too.
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I got no help as well. I had to flee. They changed the locks on the house but I ended up fleeing after a very bad time and feeling I was a sitting duck in my house.
It was dangerous to do all of what I did. Very dangerous.
I packed car and fled. No preplanned destination- I could not even go back to suburb. I felt if I stayed the violence would have gotten far far worse.
Even though I got him out the house- he kept coming back. It was all scary.
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I also was given the runaround by domestic violence shelters. One organisation would only take me in if I admitted to being an addict of some sort. When I said I had no history of addiction they kept asking weirder and more intrusive questions. When I told them I wanted to withdraw my application for help they started ringing me every hour. It was creepy and disturbing and not what a person in a very vulnerable position needs.
Other organisations were helpful though. Maybe one in three that I reached out to. I just had to lower my expectations and let the weird ones alone.
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Also, in case this helps anyone:
I actually rang the police non-urgent line before things really escalated. I got to explain things calmly and get an incident number. Then when the mousse hit the extractor fan (so to speak) and I dialled 999, the responder had the background already. I would never have thought to do that, but a friend suggested it and I think it saved me.
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To you all, this is now my second year of domestic abuse, and i am sorry to hear all this, i to, felt the same, no one helping, it was very frustrating, Womans Aid, told me to contact, (local service removed by Moderator),i had a fantastic support worker, then i went back to him, believing in his lies, he will get help, so i am back to (local service removed by Moderator), i now have a new support worker, i wish you all well.
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